July 22, 2010

rage

i'm thinking joining formspring was a bad idea. i got the idea from a friend of mine, but she's a lot more clever/popular than i am, and so all of her questions and answers are really cheeky and fun and creative. i've only gotten a handful asked by real, actual people, and mine all deal with my sexuality in some form or another. wtf? but today's was the kicker.


what. the. fuck.

 i don't know where to begin.

i'm fat. oh harhar! you found me out.  how clever of you. though i can't tell if you're making fun of me for being fat, using fat as a simple descriptive term, or you're angrily lashing out at me for being a "fatty" that you (somehow) have presumed to be trying to date (or "groove") outside of my "class," or perhaps are angry that you perceive me (again, not sure how) to only be attracted to "skinny fucks" instead of whatever more deserving weight class you perceive yourself as belonging to.

let me answer your question as simply and clearly as i can first, since you were so kind, tactful and polite with your inquiry: IT IS NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSINESS WHO OR WHAT I AM ATTRACTED TO.  it is mine, nobody else's. i don't care who you are, your idiotic male privilege is showing.

let me dispel a few myths for you that i'm sure you probably ascribe to, and in the process maybe educate you just a teeny bit. just because a woman is fat doesn't mean she has low self-esteem or is starved for attention. it doesn't mean she will jump somebody's bones just because they say they like fatties. It's the same as faux-feminists who profess their distaste for hair removal/wearing contacts/traditionally feminine attire/cosmetic surgery/makeup, and women who use/perform these things, etc.,  just to get laid. if you go through life using this tactic, basically what you are saying is "i would have sex with you/people like you, so you should like me for that." i don't need your validation. FUCK YOU. seriously. you are simply reminding women that their societal worth is measured only by how much men want to fuck us. as if my rage needed soothing rather than a constructive outlet.

and if you are simply hating on me for being "fat," and by proxy all women of size, FUCK YOU again. with something hard and sand-papery. being a certain size or body type is not a crime, and regardless of whether or not you personally find it attractive, i deserve the exact same goddamn respect and dignity as anyone else.  there are many different ranges of bodies and what they do and what they're capable of and how people treat them.

similarly, it is soooo not cool to refer to thin people as "skinny fucks." FUCK YOU yet again.  if you are fat and are lashing out at thin people who you perceive as enemies, then you are doubly ignorant. Being pro-something doesn't mean you have to be anti-something else. Supporting fat people doesn't mean hating on thin people. No matter what size, all people deserve respect. Thin people are judged just as much on their appearance as bigger people, particularly the thinner they get, and although it's more often a positive kind of stereotyping, it's still just as bad. Hating on people out of jealousy just shows what a small person you are, and says a lot more about you than the people you're hating on.

But back to your topic of sexual attraction, or as you so eloquently put it, "grooving on" others. sexual attraction is based on a host of complex social and psychological factors that often fluctuate over time. it is not a negative or positive thing to be attracted to certain physical types (or personality types, or people with specific interests).  it's normal, and we (almost) all do it. if someone is attracted to the current, mainstream concept of what is sexy, that's okay. most of us are, having been conditioned into it before we even had sexual feelings. conversely, if you are not attracted to the modern, mainstream sexy ideal, that's okay too, but it does not make you exceptional. it does not make you better than anyone else. you do not deserve praise, a pat on the head, or a blow job for telling people. it also doesn't give you the right to judge anyone, male or female or any of the gender identities in between, for whomever they are attracted to. contrary to what you might believe, there aren't rigid "fat blobs only" and "skinny fuckers only" relationship classes. that's the wonderful thing; we have the freedom to be with whomever we want! shocking, i know. we can even choose to be alone and not "groove on" ANYONE if we don't want to! that's fucking unbelievable, right?!? i mean, a woman of any size not defining herself by people wanting to fuck her AND not defining herself by a relationship?? incredible!

so in closing, i hope this is enough information to answer your question, and i hope i helped to educate you just a bit, and hopefully caused you to think about how you perceive women/people in general through the lens of your male privilege.

6 comments:

Shay. said...

People can be jerks :( Don't take it to heart, I think you're beautiful!

Nick Marino said...

i joined formspring cause a friend wanted me to ask questions, and then i thought Justique might enjoy trying it too. i asked my friend and Justique maybe eight to ten questions a piece within a week. and they asked a grand total of three in twice as long!!!

Kaylie said...

thanks, Shay. :)

haha i didn't know you were on formspring, Nick! gimme a link, i'll ask you questions! ;)

ross said...

YEAH!!! you're so smart. :)

i've never even heard of formspring but fuck that shit. what is it, you just ask people questions? why do people need a specific website for that?

Kaylie said...

thanks Ross<3

yeah, it's just this silly thing where people ask questions to each other. i guess it really doesn't make sense. XD i think being able to ask questions anonymously is supposed to help people learn about and be more honest with each other, but in my case it's mainly utilized for being a total dickface.

Riot.EXE said...

I think your entire rant was valid. Real talk. (found this from AudioShocker...which I found from Ross...Your art is sick as hell!)