stretching my wings

in your dreams

an image i had in my head all day...hopefully one day i will get to make it a finished piece.

Apna Desh musical scene, YouTube
Hum Kaale Hain To from Gumnaam, YouTube

listened to this really interesting story about a guy's quest for spiritual enlightenment that took him to india where he met what he was sure was the current incarnation of buddha, and through a bizarre series of events went from not believing in reincarnation at all to being confident that he had been the buddha's horse and been with him in thousands of lives, and came full circle on this journey of spiritual enlightenment. it made me wish something similar could happen to me. but i can't afford to go to india and study under a yogi, or cloister myself in the woods and write, or go to the desert and have peyote-induced spiritual journeys.

maybe the whole idea about finding your personal truth and reaching spiritual transcendence is that it happens in its own way, whenever the time is right. at least i hope.

they don't love you like i love you

my friend Hezaa and i were going to do this meme thing together, but we both only did like the first part of it then forgot, haha. mine is terrible and doesn't deserve to be seen by anyone, but here's a face-meltingly awesome portrait she drew of me. i wish i was really this hot. i love the stars, and my little t-rex friend, haha.

it's based on this picture of me:

if you haven't seen her stuff you should check her out, she's like ultra amazing, and really likes Sailor Moon so you know she's cool.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Maps", youtube

wait

teardrop

pretty much a verbatim transcript of an awkward encounter at a stupid family thing. i only slightly exaggerated his hideousness. his teeth were...hard to look at.

i guess i'm so used to bottling things up that sometimes i open up the floodgates at any given opportunity, even if it's just someone smiling vacantly and condescendingly at me whilst i pour out my heart to them, when they obviously couldn't give a shit and were just pretending that they did. oops.

Q Lazzarus - "Goodbye Horses", youtube

unrelated, i've also come to realize (at length) that i become too easily attached/smitten with nice people, just because they are nice and make me feel that my existence is validated. just because someone is nice to me doesn't mean they care, at least in that way. they're just being nice.

a kiss with a fist

page 7

this shit is insane! really cool, though. Abstraction by Shintaro Kago

Dengue Fever - "Seeing Hands," youtube

white soft rope

i've been really into rococo-style ladies lately. an idea i have for Dinogeddon is having different themed gangs, kinda like the Warriors or A Clockwork Orange or Surf Nazis Must Die, because i love that ridiculous stuff. maybe one gang would be a bunch of fancy ladies and fops in powdered wigs and stuff? hahaha


"Lovely Head" - Goldfrapp, youtube
probably my favorite Goldfrapp song.

"Heart Shaped Box" - Nirvana, youtube
love this video. so good.

downtrodden

page 6

the Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love video, YouTube
it kinda weirds me out that the lead singer of the Darkness looks a bit like an ex of mine, haha.

i guess my parents' house is totally destroyed. all my childhood toys and my old diaries and shit are gone. kind of depressing.

so tired/bored with everything.

i need a vacation in the worst way.