self portraits

i hate doing self-portraits. i can't ever seem to make them look quite like myself. and i change various aspects of my looks pretty often, so chances are a portrait won't look like me in a couple months. nevertheless, i have to do one, so here are some of my attempts.

personally i think the me as a  t-rex one is my favorite. ;) if i were a dinosaur, i'd be too big of a wuss to be a t-rex, but i'd want to be one.

egyptian cream

i'm posting drawings again, what the hell.

stuff for a short story i'm working on. a lot looser and more cartoony than my normal stuff, but that goes better with the story.

Gamera

trying the new kitty thing again with better results. this is Gamera. (almost Thundercat, Jaws, Rio, Barf, Rodan, Zigra, Stinky Butthole, and Mayor of Amity Island.)

he's very sweet and mellow. and he's quiet and not a jerk and lets me sleep, heh. kinda shy though. quite a sissy scaredy cat. but maybe he'll become more outgoing the more he adjusts. he hides a lot, but he likes to cuddle with me, which is nice. :) needed me a cuddlin' man. he also has the worst-smelling farts, human or animal, i've ever experienced.

dry

i fucking hate st. patrick's day. douchiest holiday EVER.

here's a sketch i did of how i remember a cool chick i saw at work today.

mizunotic

i'm thinking about getting another tattoo, but it's hard for me to think of something i like. i usually like more simple, design-y type stuff. so i got the idea to look up Junko Mizuno stuff, since she's one of my all-time favorite atists and her stuff lends itself very well to tattoos. i'm so glad i looked her up again, because she's been up to so much apparently, and i've been out of the loop!

pieces she did for a valentine-themed art show. so awesome!

i love how much she's evolved as an artist, devolping new more sophisticated sensibilities while still retaining that bizarre charm her work is so famous for. i really admire her so much; she's everything i can ever hope of being.

i love her toys! Pure Trance is one of my favorite comics of all time, and i wish i had more money than sense like when i was younger and living rent-free with the parents, so i could get all the magnificent related figurines. T_T

apparently she also has her own line of condoms and lubricants in Japan, that come with little trading cards featuring her artwork. XD i love it! like i said, she's my hero in every way!

oh yeah, but as far as the tattoo thing, i still didn't find anything i felt would do it for me. the search continues.

a rapist and his dog WARNING: rant

ugh. tonight i watched A Boy and His Dog, and it was probably one of the most infuriating movies i've ever seen. the premise sounds cool: a youth and his dog companion that communicates with him telepathically survive in a post-apocalyptic desert. and there's some supposed promised land that the dog's heard about and they talk about going there. so you'd think the plot is all laid out right there, right?

well, instead, it veers into an unsettling direction, because for some reason that's never explained, there are either very few women still around or they're all in hiding, and the young male protagonist's main mission in life is seeking out women to rape them. and his telepathic dog has some radar that senses nearby women for his companion. so eventually the dog leads the boy to a girl and right before he's able to rape her, they're attacked by some mutants or something. somehow the guy and the dog hold them off, and the girl doesn't seem to mind at all that this guy attacked her and starts helping him. then when they're safe, she jumps his bones. uh, yeah.

the dog and the guy get into this big argument about whether or not to take the girl with them, blah blah blah. the girl then knocks the guy out and escapes to some underground city where she's from, apparently. pissed, the guy pursues her and is taken to this weird subterranean city where people wear clown make up(?) and live out these corny slices of americana, trying to recreate their perception of america before the apocalypic nuclear war, i guess. so the boy gets captured by the council that controls the town, and is told he was purposely lured there by the girl because living underground has made it impossible for them to impregnate their women (uh, okay) and so as an above ground-dweller, they want him to do so. at first the guy is elated by this prospect, until it turns out instead of having sex, he gets strapped down to a hospital bed and has some penile milking apparatus attached to him to extract his sperm, and after the council is done with him they plan on killing him.

the girl then rescues him and reveals that she has her own agenda, and that she brought him down to help her stage a coup against the council, so that she and her accomplices might assume control of the town. but he's still pissed at her, and after all her accomplices are executed by the council's hillbilly robot (no, i'm not making this up), she relents and decides to escape to the surface with the guy rather than face her own impending execution. when they return, they discover that the dog is near death, having waited faithfully by the gate to the underground without eating for the guy's return. the girl tries to manipulate the guy, saying there's nothing that they can do for the dog and that SHE LOVES HIM and if he loves her, they'll move on. then cut to the guy and the dog walking off happily into the sunset together, and it turns out they ate her, and the dog makes a joke about her tasting bad. THE END.

ugh. i'm sure there's some kind of clever societal commentary that was originally in this script or the novella it was based on, but it was all lost in the execution. whoever wrote this schlock either is completely and totally ignorant about sex and women, or a misogynist who flat-out hates women. first, the woman in the movie decides to willingly and actively bed a man who had only moments before viciously attacked and tried to rape her. because, you know. nothing gets a woman in the mood like the adrenaline high of nearly being raped and then watching your rapist fend off mutants so that, you know, he can rape you. but, i guess the argument can be made that this makes sense for her character once you're aware of her ulterior motive, so whatever. i'll let that one slide.

but for the rest of the movie the woman is painted out to be this lascivious, back-stabbing cunt; when trying to manipulate the guy she moans about loving him and rubs herself all over him like a cat, and then if he doesn't bend to her will she begins barking at him and admits that she's using him. she's continually portrayed as annoying and evil: she deserves becoming dogfood. fine. but why is the main female character judged so harshly for being conniving, ambitious and sexually devious, but the protagonist has absolutely no ramifications whatsoever for his continuous morally reprehensible actions, such as abuse, stealing, rape and murder? it's fucking disgusting.

there were a few small things here and there i liked, like a post-apocalyptic movie theater, using food as currency, and a guy that had a team of people pulling a wagon. but that's in the first twenty minutes maybe, and it's all down hill from there. i can honestly say this is one of the top movies i've ever seen that is so openly and celebratingly hateful toward women. it also has an unsettlingly light-hearted attitude toward very dark subject matter, such as the dog making jokes about the guy's libido as he's trying to sniff out girls for him to assault.

i'm sick of post-apocalyptic movies either portraying this sort of society in which men rule and are vicious animals and women exist only to be raped and killed, or a society where for some reason everything's reverted back to men being in charge of everything and women are subservient. it's like, why the fuck would this happen?? oh, and by the way, apparently no one but white people survive the apocalypse. sorry, everybody else.

i really do like watching bad old movies, and i know things have changed a lot in the past few decades, and i've learned to take it with a grain of salt when i'm watching a monster movie and a woman faints and is useless, or just makes coffee for all the men who will save everyone, but shit like this is just inexcusable. and strangely enough, now that i think about it, a lot of the most anti-women movies i've seen are from the 70's, kinda surprisingly. i wonder if it was some sort or women's liberation-backlash thing? i dunno, but i think i'm gonna try to avoid watching a lot of b-movies for a while. after this shit i need a serious Pam Grier palate cleanser.

zombies, skirts and surf nazis

last thursday i ended up going to Chiller Drive-In's Attack of the Killer B's at the main art theater. Chiller Drive-In is like this kitschy show hosted by this awesome guy called Wolfman Mac, and a whole cast of funny weird people and they show old b horror movies and do skits related to them on the local cable around here, and i think they're syndicated on cable channels around the country now. and Attack of the Killer B's is like a live version of their show every first thursday of the month. this was only my second time going, but both times were so much fun! but anyway, i've been a fan of the show from its beginnings, and have been to a few events and met the cast, and they're all so incredibly nice, and they even remember me when they see me! heh.

thursday was the first time i met Madam Niña though. she was super cool and called me "hotsy totsy," haha. i had to make it out to this one because they were showing Night of the Living Dead, and there was a zombie costume contest. which no, i didn't enter, ha. it was super fun though. i love Rocky Horror-esque type things that encourage audience participation and yelling things out. i'm just mad i forgot to bring my camera. it made me wanna try to make it out to more.

my outfit wasn't really anything special, but i thought it was cute! just recently got the skirt from work, and it's a bit of a risk for me because it's so dollish and girly-girly, which i normally am not. i think i can pull it off though.

i'm really trying to broaden my fashion horizons and try stuff that i wouldn't normally...sometimes, as with this look, i get pleasantly surprised!

i need to learn how to walk in heels though, ugh. no heels, no bras...i'm so bad at being a proper lady, hahaha. ooh! and a close-up of the make up:

i got a super-nice new make up pallette and new brushes (late b-day present), and the colors are all nice and bright and super saturated, ah! i love it!! really, i wish my stupid bedroom wasn't so dark and you could see the colors better, it was really bright and pretty! i'm still not very good (trying to figure out how to modify things to my eye shape still gives me trouble, grr), but i'm having fun learning how to play with make up!

also watched a ton of really bad movies at home over the weekend...trying to remember some...Beware! Children at Play, i think one of them was called...really boring and the death scenes were incredibly hokey...and the ending was kinda weird and cool at the same time, but totally unrealistic, how all the adults just start slaughtering the children with no mercy, but i was like holy shit, i can't believe they even went there, heh. although the beginning story was hilarious, how the kid and his dad are camping, and the dad gets caught in a bear trap and lays dying, and instead of going for help the kid just takes care of him, and later it just shows tons of empty bean cans around him, like he's just been feeding beans to his dying dad on the ground for days, hahaha, and then the kid eats his dad!

then Surf Nazis Must Die...oh, what a piece of crap, but it was a Troma movie, what did i expect, heh. it wasn't that bad of a movie, really, i'm into the whole pseudo-post-apocalyptic rag-tag gangs warring with one another thing, but i didn't understand why the main gang had to be neo nazis...like none of the other gangs really made sense. like there was a gang of japanese guys that were supposed to be ninja, i guess, and a gang of like hard-rockin' heavy metal guys, and a gang of (i'm guessing) pretty, primping boys (their names were curl, blow, and dry lol). i would have liked to watch a movie about aaaaaany of the other gangs; the surf nazis were fucking boring. and they had these "surf battles" or whatever, where they never even came into contact with their rivals while surfing, so how was it a battle or whatever? i really enjoyed the twist on the revenge story though, with the elderly mom being a total badass, complete with motorcycle and sunglasses, heh. i think there should really be more badass older characters.

fighting gods

some sketches for something i'm working on. i can't draw wolves! XD

strikingly beautiful women

being a strikingly beautiful woman must be awesome. you can do pretty much anything and everything you want fashion and hair wise, and take pretty much any risk you want, and it won't inhibit your beauty whatsoever. in fact, it seems that for the most part taking fashion risks is a beauty enhancer, displaying your inner confidence, individuality and highlighting that you are, in fact, a strikingly beautiful woman, no matter how you decorate yourself.

even something that the mainstream considers to be extremely aberrant and anti-beautiful for women, like shaving one's head completely, doesn't hinder the strikingly beautiful woman's beauty. rather, it enhances it in a way. without the distraction of hair, her gorgeous features take center stage.

or you can go the opposite route, like these girls, in which your hairstyle becomes the main focus of your look, and is a work of art in and of itself. but it only seems to work when someone with a quiet grace and radiative beauty can pull it off.

oh yeah, and of course there's make up too...anything goes! so amazing.