June 19, 2011


just a quick note to say i'm still alive. i've been veeeery busy lately....for me, anyway. i got a new job doing clerical/receptionist stuff at a car dealership. everybody's really nice, the pay is good, and the girl that did my job before me was a huge screw-up i guess, so i look amazing by comparison. it's rough getting used to a full-time schedule, though. i haven't really had much time to draw, or anything else.

and i'm hesitant to admit it, but i just haven't really wanted to draw, or care about drawing anymore. i'm wondering if it's just things being kinda hectic right now and maybe once i settle in i'll want to go back to drawing and stuff, but i'm also slightly worried that i just don't feel it anymore. i've always felt like nobody really cares about what i'm doing, i mean when you get right down to it, but that was okay, because i still cared and that was enough. but now i don't even care anymore, so...i'm not sure how to feel about that.

but i've said plenty of times in the past that i'm going to quit art/comics and i always came back, so who knows. maybe it's just another one of those things. just putting my energy into something nobody cares about, not even me, seems like a huge waste of time right now, and time seems to be slipping by so fast i'm afraid i'm going to wake up tomorrow and i'll be eighty.


Anonymous said...

You are very foolish to give up before you have even started. One could say you could wake up 80 and have nothing to show for, because you can't finish what you started.

There are lows and highs in everything you do in life, and that is just a fact of life. Get use to it and learn to roll with the punches.

I think just by looking at the people that are watching you on this blog alone is enough prove that people are interested in what you do.

You can't expect other people to push you along life because it wont happen. If you dont push yourself you will never know your own capabilites.

You make who you are.

and Finally Art is about self expression, and that takes self motivation to show the world what you have to say. SO dont give up because everything you have done would all in vain.

Anonymous said...

OH One last thing, i know i lied a little bit when i said finally last time but you should remember, the only person who is holding you back is you. THINK ABOUT THAT!

I know i said no one would push you but, my enthusiasm can not be stopped! and i refuse to watch you surrender!!

Kaylie said...

heh, i understand all that, and i appreciate the sentiment, really. i understand i shouldn't rely on other people to motivate me, and i wasn't trying to say that at all. i guess it's hard to explain.

the thing that bothers me is i don't get pleasure out of drawing anymore. so why do it? and i'm trying to remember why i did like it before, what was different....

i don't feel like i'm missing out on anything or not accomplishing anything because i just don't care right now. it's like being sad i didn't win an olympic medal, when that's not my dream, i don't care about winning a medal at all. and right now for some reason i don't care about comics anymore. i don't know why. like i said, maybe it's a phase, or a byproduct of other messed up stuff going on in my life.

i know you decide who you want to be and everything, but there are other factors too. i hate that i'm becoming apathetic; i wish i knew how to fight it and stay as passionate as i was when i was younger, but i just don't know how.

X said...

alright kaylie, whatever makes you happy. I was only trying to motivate you with a little tough love, but i see that you can not be swayed. thats fine. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you do!

Kaylie said...

i appreciate it, and i'm not saying i'm going to give up on drawing forever or anything, just trying to explain how i feel right now, and as usual i probably messed up what i was trying to say, haha.

i don't expect people or even other artists to understand, especially artists like you that are incredibly prolific and really driven and self-motivated; i really admire those qualities, but i definitely don't posses all of them, or if i do, in scaled-back quantities. thanks for caring enough to say something though, that means a lot. :) and it really got me thinking about my priorities and ways i can still fit art into my life and enjoy it again.

X said...

i'm glad your having a change of heart thats good, talent is a horrible thing to waste. :D but Wait wait wait, a second lets change "i really admire those qualities, but i definitely don't posses all of them..." :( to....
"I really admire those qualities, but I definitely POSSESS ALL OF THEM! AND ONLY IN SCALED UP QUANTITIES!!" >8D!!!

:D YES say with me A-men! OH LORDY!!! XD see how easy it is? already 10X more postivie energy is surrounding us right now!

i always think drawing is like pokemon, first i gotta level up my pokemon (aka my skillz) and battle with other ppls pokemans and then one day i'm going to be a pokemon masterrrrrrr du duuudooo

This is for you, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kJ9wp-mog8

you must listen to this song
it's going to change ur life, for realz!
alright LAST TIME, may the force be with you and all that other good shit!