too real

i think trying to help other artistic people i care about to find motivation is one of my least favorite things. i hate seeing people i care about unhappy, and on top of that, i feel like i’m all thumbs, hopelessly inadequate, especially because i have a hard time finding motivation myself. i know what it’s like to work full time and suffer from depression to the point where you only have a couple hours to yourself after work every week, and you’re so exhausted and sad that you can’t bring yourself to do anything but eat, shower and maybe watch some tv before bed. i came the closest to ending my life i’ve ever come because of my state of mind at that time; because my mental well-being was actually withering up and dying because i wasn’t able to create art, among other things. and i don’t know what to tell other people in similar situations because the only solution i was able to come to was quitting my job, even though i couldn’t really afford to. thankfully i have a supportive partner who was willing and able to support me, and if he wasn’t willing or able to, i would have been able to go back to my home state and live with my parents or other family…i wouldn’t have liked having to do that at all, but i had that option. a lot of people don’t have those options at all.

the best advice i can give anyone is just do it. one of my biggest pet peeves is when people see other people doing something cool, like knitting, drawing, making music, whatever, and say “that’s so cool! i wish i could do that.” i’m guilty of this myself, but it makes me want to say “then just do it.” because i realized that the only thing we’re born knowing how to do is eat and poop…you gotta learn everything else. maybe someone is more predisposed to being good at something, or making it look easy, but they had to learn too, the same as you do. i realized i can get rid of the majority of my bad feelings about not being productive enough if i just be productive. my productivity still isn’t as good as others’; i’m probably quite slow by comic artist standards, and i still kick myself a bit for it, but i’m still creating. because i remember how bad and dark being at a complete stop felt. i might slow down, but i never want to let myself stop, ever again.

but i also know there are plenty of artists who are working a day job to survive like i was (and most likely will again), who have mental health problems like i do, who get worn down by the daily grind and feel less than human, like they can’t think, much less work on the things that are beneficial for their mental health and well-being anymore. i know because i was there. and they ask me what they can do, and i want to tell them “just do it,” but i know that doesn’t work when you’re in that state of mind. so i don’t know what to tell them. i wish i did.

help!

okay, i need some help, guys! (if anybody still reads this blog....)

here is the latest Dinogeddon page i just finished:

i'm not sure if i'm happy with it, and i'd like some input before i'm done for sure. in the last panel, i have a little introductory blurb about Ronnie, obviously. i plan on having similar blurbs for all the main characters. the main reason is because it's a pretty big cast, and while i think everyone looks different enough, i wanted to give readers some tidbits of solid information they could grab onto to help them identify all the different characters, and help them keep track of who is in what gang, etc. and i thought it would be fun and maybe add a bit of humor to add an irrelevant factoid or two linked to the character's personality. but after getting the ball rolling with Ronnie's here, i'm beginning to second-guess myself whether it's a good idea or not, or if so, if i executed it properly.

i know my handwriting can be hard to read, but i like the look of my hand written lettering for the comic and don't really want to use a font. (and yes, i have tried making a font out of my handwriting, and it just ended up terrible.) i thought about having the blurbs in little boxes, but i was thinking that might be too cliche? i don't know. maybe it would be easier to read that way. and like i said, i'm wondering if i should do the whole blurb thing at all? maybe it would just be better to let the characters unfold for themselves over time? i don't really like it when comics have to have bio pages or whatever, unless it's like a series catch-up kinda thing, and eventually i'll probably have a character bio section on the Dinogeddon site, but....like i said, it's one of those ideas i originally really liked, but i'm not so sure comes off as well in practice. what do you think? keep it, lose it? change it? and how?

tornadoes

i'm guessing by now everyone's aware of the mega tornadoes and storms that ripped through the deep south and midwest wednesday, causing lots of damage and many deaths. for those who don't know, i'm originally from Alabama, specifically the Concord area, which was very hard hit. fortunately all my friends and family that i've been able to contact so far have all been safe and no one's injured, but my parents have lost their house, at least until they can assess the damage.

this has hit me hard in the obvious ways, but also tears at my heart to see images on the news of places i grew up, places i recognize, that basically got wiped away. i mean, look at these photos: http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/04/storms-tornadoes-devastate-the-south/100055/ it's so surreal/heartbreaking.

if anyone feels compelled to help in this time of dire need, here's some places you can donate:

this news article includes links at the bottom with lots of different ways to help: http://abcnews.go.com/US/alabama-tornado-2011-storm-victims/story?id=13477481

a fund for donating items, if you live near Birmingham: http://www.birminghammommy.com/2011/04/birmingham-area-tornado-relief-donations.html

a fund specifically for Alabama: http://www.causes.com/causes/608753-alabama-tornado-relief

thanks for any and all help; people like my family really need/appreciate it. and to all the people in the affected areas who may have lost power, your homes, and even loved ones, my heart goes out to you.

help Steve Perry

i know my blog doesn't carry very much clout, but i thought i'd try my best to get the word out.

basically it's summed up here: http://lorelei76.vox.com/library/post/help-stephen-perry-writer-of-thundercats-and-silverhawks.html

i made a donation a few weeks back that was embarrassingly small because that was all i could spare, and he sent me this incredibly gracious, grateful e-mail. and recently i sent him another small donation and got another super nice e-mail. i'm posting this because i'm sure he still could use all the help he could get, fighting cancer and trying his best to take care of his young son. and the thing about this situation that really tears at my heart is that this could easily be me, or any of the many artist/writer friends in my life.

anyway, yeah. thanks if you read this and feel moved to help out.