ache like i ache

so i've been buying a lot of clothes lately because it's the first time in years i've had any disposable income,  and also i've been wanting to update my wardrobe for quite some time. anyway, today i decided that while i do have a lot of old t-shirts, seeing as that's primarily what i used to wear, i have very few band t-shirts. so i went online to see if i could find any for my favorite bands.

and...nothing. i mean, i guess i could get a band t-shirt for some band i kinda like, or if i just like the t-shirt or whatever, but i feel like i have to feel pretty passionately about someone/something if i'm going to give them my money so i can be a walking advertisement to them, haha. i was looking around at shops that specifically sell music shirts and i don't even know who the hell like 80% of the bands/artists are on them anymore. i guess i've never been a huge music aficionado, i don't really seem to be as into music as a lot of people are, but man. feelin' so old these days. a lot of the time i find myself wondering if my best days are behind me. it's like i'm having a quarter-life crisis or something. i feel like everyone else i see is doing something, or they at least have a plan, know exactly what they're aiming for, whereas i'm just here, not really sure about anything, especially what i want. maybe that's just delusion, though. i have been known to suffer from constant fits of "the grass is always greener" syndrome.

Hole - "Doll Parts", youtube

give me a reason to care about anything.