love like poison

i got my first Dinogeddon fan art!!! O_O boy, that was quick! and it's totally awesome too! from the very talented Chad Sergesketter!

then my friend Erin made me this:

thanks, Chad!!! thanks, Erin!!!

i'm so happy with the support i've been getting for Dinogeddon so far, and i'm only two pages into it, haha.<3 and fan art is like the best thing ever, the ultimate love letter, i really appreciate it. i hope i get some more as the comic goes on. thanks everyone who's keeping up with the comic!

swallow

click for full-view

 

 

this page almost killed me, blah. i have such a love/hate relationship with coloring. still not completely satisfied, but you gotta know when to just move the fuck on sometimes. continuous forward momentum is something i'm desperately embracing right now.

time warp

this is from that time warp meme thing that was going around on DeviantArt for awhile...where you draw yourself and how you've evolved throughout your life...a few of my friends did it and i thought it looked like fun, but i forgot that i hate drawing myself, and it kinda ended up being a chore so...i don't think i'll ever finish it, so here ya go.

so obsessed with the new MLP: Friendship is Magic series lately, but i got nostalgic for the old MLP stuff.
My Little Pony: the Movie, part 2, YouTube
"i'll go it alooooooooone!" XD "NO! i don't need you! i don't need anybody!"
haha when i showed this to Rob he said "hmm, she kinda reminds me of SOMEONE." XD i guess that's why Lickety Split's one of my favorites; i love how angsty she is. i remember as a kid totally being like "yeah, Lickety Split, you run away!"

speaking of nostalgia....
TLC - "Creep" video, Youtube

Notorious B.I.G. - "Big Poppa" video, YouTube
"Between the Sheets" is such a stone-cold groove<3

Busta Rhymes - "Gimme Some More" video, YouTube
god, i miss when videos were so crazy like this! i especially love the beginning.

Toni Braxton - "You're Makin' Me High" video, YouTube
this one's so funny. XD

cat suits are pretty weird.

waiting for some action

the first two pages of my crazy sex dream comic. i love bathrooms at clubs/bars that are covered in graffiti.

...i dunno, man. :|

fucked up my shoulder lifting weights i think...but at least it's not my drawing shoulder, ha.

Spring, stop teasing me, baby. come on. you know nobody can love you like i love you.

fffffffffffffffffffff, Automelodi<3
Automelodi - "Schema Corporeal" video, YouTube

it's not like a day will come when i'm satisfied

at last - the first page of Dinogeddon. i figured i might as well go ahead and dive in, you know?

click to enlarge

i hope i'll have an official Dinogeddon site up soon. i feel kind of uneasy, like almost sick showing this off, i'm not sure why. i guess because this is a pretty personal project for me, as silly as it is, and it's been so long since i steadily, seriously created comic pages i kinda wonder if i can do it. we'll see, i guess!

i know you want to be in my bed

i finally finished my first custom on my fakey Blythe today! it was a lot of work and it taught me a lot. here's what she looked like before i got my hands on her:

pretty awful, right? but here she is after, as of today.

 her name's Vickie Venom, or Vi for short,  and she's the lead singer/guitarist of her band, St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

she's not perfect, but i'm really happy with the way she came out. originally i had planned to give her an asymmetrical bob, but i kind of like her with the long hair, so it stays for now. i was also worried that maybe i carved her smile too wide and it would give her a creepy Cheshire cat sort of quality, but i think it looks all right, kind of mischievous. it was quite a headache working on her (my god, her EYES!), but i'm happy now. i like her.<3

my next project when i can afford it is to make a dark-skinned doll, which involves spray paint since the manufacturors of blythes and blythe knock-offs don't produce dolls of color, which is really bogus. but where there is a will, there is a way.

Beauty and the Beast

watched Disney's Beauty and the Beast for the first time since i was a little kid. it held up pretty well, but this was always one of my favorites. one thing that really impressed me that i didn't really have an appreciation for as a kid was how gorgeous the backgrounds are. maybe some of the best i've ever seen in an animated film. one thing that kinda bothered me though was i didn't really like the style or whatever the background/extra characters were drawn in...i get that they have to be simpler than the main characters, but they just seemed too much so, and they seemed rounder, cartoonier, like Warner Bros. style instead of Disney. i guess it's not really a big deal, but it kept getting to me for some reason.

there are kind of a lot of weird stylistic choices in this movie.

one of the main reasons i've been wanting to rewatch it was that i've read a few feminist blogs/essays commenting on how sexist Disney films are, and the messages they are inundating into youth, especially young girls. (this is probably the best one i've found.) something i kept reading about Beauty and the Beast was that, in a nutshell, it's basic lesson is that if a woman stays with an abusive beast, he'll turn into a kind prince. i think this is a bit of a simplistic viewpoint. i find the relationship between Belle and the Beast to be perhaps the most dynamic and interesting of all Disney relationships. yes, things start off rocky when your new room mate has locked your dad in his dungeon and you have to barter for his life. but they actually spend time together, get to know each other presumably, unlike other Disney romances that blossom after one chance meeting and a song.

the Beast is abusive, i make no excuses for him there. but coming at it from the perspective of someone who intimately knows people that have been abusers, i can kind of sympathize with Beast to a degree. still, that gives him no right to continually traumatize and intimidate Belle, and she finally tells him as much and leaves, only returning when he saves her freakin' life, which i guess is pretty redeeming. (yes, i know it's lame that she has to be saved at all, but to her credit, she's holding her own against the wolves before Beast shows up. but yes, she still has to be reliant on a man, argh.) i guess i see it less as a woman putting up with an abuser and more as a woman realizing that, although deeply flawed, an individual may be worth her time once he realizes he must treat her with respect. it's something that happens in the best relationships: people bring out the best in each other. but obviously i'm in the minority, and i'm not sure very young viewers would understand how complicated and multi-faceted people and relationships can be.

i guess in the dvd i got, there's some new scene/song added in that was originally cut from the movie. i really didn't like it or think it was necessary; it was obviously animated recently and therefore didn't match up to the rest of the movie and it didn't really add anything to the plot (there's a REASON they cut stuff out of movies, people who make dvds!), but there was one little thing i liked about it. there's a tiny scene where Belle and Beast are in the library reading together, and Beast admits he's almost illiterate, and Belle helps him along. this is both a touching moment, and perhaps the most intimate scene that reveals how close they're becoming up until the big ballroom dance thing.

another thing i can't help but like is that the dashing, handsome, muscly guy ends up being the villain.

although, when Beast transforms, he's probably the hottest prince ever, so it's kind of a draw, i guess.

things i don't like include Nafu, or whatever Gaston's sidekick's name is, reinforcing the stereotype Disney always has of short, squat, fat people being comedy relief not to be taken seriously, and they're usually evil or aligned with the evil party. also love, love, LOVE how Belle starts off in the movie, an alienated, educated daydreamer who is beautiful but doesn't use her beauty as a commodity, who wants adventure and something more than "this provincial life," only for her "grand adventure" that she longs for to end up being giving up her life for her father's to live in a dingy old castle with a beast who she then marries, the end. it kinda gives the impression that if young girls long for a better, more exciting life, marriage is the answer.

man, the scene where Belle fumes about Gaston's arrogance in presuming she'll marry him, and she runs outside and there's that beautiful sunset over the fields of grass and the forest as she emotes with her arms and proclaims "i want ADVENTURE in the great, wide SOMEWHERE! i want it more than i can tell!" wow, that scene got me so fired up as a kid, even at 6 or 7 or however old i was, watching that art combined with that sentiment on the big screen in front of me, i was absolutely riveted! and it still holds up, that scene still gets me. i just wish that Belle was the Belle we got through the rest of the film.

and while i admit it's a little sad that Disney doesn't try harder or realize the effects it has one children and our culture in general, especially on things like gender roles, it also feels unfair to me to lump all of this blame on Disney when their movies are just retellings of folktales and fairytales that go way, way back, and therefore embody a different set of morals and values than we embrace today.

i was actually kind of impressed with how closely the Disney version followed the original story in this particular instance. Disney's Beast is more of a jerk, but that kinda makes more sense as to why he would've gotten cursed in the first place.

maybe i'm biased, because i just love fairytales in general, and sometimes it feels like a conflict of interest, being a feminist and loving stories that reinforce gender stereotypes and portray women as sleeping, obedient, paragons of purity and virtue and at the same time sexual desire, to be conquered, raped, protected, but never empowered. there's a great deal of romance to be found in suffering. maybe that's why i like fairytales and saints. as a young girl, in love with my own suffering, i fell in love with the unbearable but saintly suffering and love of the little mermaid when she turned to foam rather than kill her only love. my love knew no bounds for the little match girl who finally saw heavenly paradise as she froze to death in the street. the ones that feature tragedy and pain and make martyrs of its princesses are the most compelling to me.

i really like Beauty and the Beast being in a Rococo-type setting. i like the visual juxtaposition of opulence and  daintiness with the frightening beast.

wax fruit

costume design, blah.

notes: Ronnie - i know all her outfits are pretty similar, but that's just how i imagine her dressing. i see her as being really lazy and having no shame. 

Fuss - probably the only real "fashionista" of the group. being brought up in an affluent family, i see her having elegant tastes and liking fashion, especially since she has the "model build," but she still steers toward stuff that has to do with racing and being fast, her real passion.

Jet - she was kinda tough for me, because Jet, deep down, is a sweet, naive giry-girl who likes animals and rainbows and stuff, but she desperately WANTS to be perceived as tough, so i tried to convey that a little through her style. i thought maybe she'd have some typical teenage clothes that she tries to "toughen up."

Lupe - one of the more challenging ones. i visualize Lupe being the girliest of the bunch, but at the same time, a post-apocalyptic environment kinda demands a certain practicality that makes skirts and other girly things seem out of place. so i tried to balance out Lupe's feminie tastes with the practical. i also thought since she's from the west it might be cool to put her in some western wear, like ponchos. i want to give her big 80's hair later on, but i'm not sure about these versions i drew here.

Shock - kinda punked out on Shock in the end. -_- i have some more ideas for her, but she's probably the biggest challenge for me right now. i see her as being pretty down-to-earth and tough. no-nonsense, but nice. i see her being a bit of a tomboy, but maybe she's still into fashion and stuff? i'm not sure. she's an ex-wrestler, so i was thinking maybe she could wear modified versions of her wrestling costumes?

got a daily deviation on deviantart today for my dinosaur laser battle drawing that spawned Dinogeddon. :D that's pretty exciting. i've always had a love-hate relationship with dA, but i'm really happy to finally get a DD like all my favorite artists on there. it also kinda made me realize the more visible you are, the more people will be dicks to you. i guess i just never thought of it before. but it's cool, i'm used to it in my everyday life, i just never really thought about it in terms of my art before. but i'd rather be visible and get hated on than be invisible.

OkGo - White Knuckles video, YouTube

lizard tail jerky

where has Terror Vision been all my life? this movie is so great in so many ways, i don't even know where to start. actually, just read this review from House of Self-Indulgence. it pretty much sums up my feelings about it much better than i could.

i even did some fan art!

i also wanted to do O.D. and some of the amazing Gerrit Graham's facial expressions, but i lost gumption toward the end.

any movie so liberally sprinkled with the word "butthole" is immediately dear to my heart.

a valentine to myself.

Shiina Ringo - Mellow video, YouTube

dream castle

...all spawned from a dream i had. sometimes i don't know if i should be grateful or weirded out by my dreams. most people have pretty straight-forward ones, or fantastical ones, but mine are usually kind of like a Dali painting; a bunch of disjointed, really crazy things with no apparent theme, but maybe there is an underlying one and i'm just not smart enough to figure it out, i don't know. at least this dream kinda had a story.

Aqua - Lollipop (Candyman) video, Youtube

Aqua - Barbie Girl video, YouTube

i love Aqua, totally un-ironically.

platinum soul

FINALLY got my first real Blythe in the mail today! so excited! She's a Kiss Me True. here's what she looked like in her pretty box.

comparing her with my fakey Blybe, i can see why a lot of Blythe devotees are so obsessed with having a "real" Blythe. i didn't really get it, i've never been a "brand name" girl when it comes to much of anything, but after getting one myself, i understand. She feels heavier, sturdier, more substantial, and just overall better-made. i really like her make up (especially her pearl pink lips!) and that her face has a slight shine, but isn't too shiny. her hair--WOW! this might be the best quality hair i've ever seen on a doll. it's very silky and long, but doesn't tangle. it doesn't feel quite as nice as real human hair natch, but it also doesn't feel like a plastic wig like the fakey. it does seem to take quite a bit more effort than i expected to pull her string and change her eyes, though.

i already took a couple pictures of her today. XD

i'm pleased with how photogenic she is. i'm trying to think of a backstory for her...i know "model" is dumb and predictable, but it seems pretty appropriate...

...or maybe  a motocross champ with a shadowy past...

...i think i'm naming her Astrid.

black cherry

saw a lot of movies lately...trying to remember them all...

saw Tron: Legacy in theatres. i wasn't really that into seeing it since i never even saw the original Tron, but i ended up liking it pretty well. the plot is pretty predictable, but the characters weren't quite as one-dimensional as i expected them to be, and i was pretty enthralled by the action sequences. CG younger Jeff Bridges with the dead eyes and pudding skin is pretty creepy, though.

finally saw Precious now that it's streaming on Netflix. my mom sent me the book it's based on a few months back, so i had the advantage/hindrance of having read and enjoyed the book before seeing the movie. i thought the movie was a very fine adaptation, though. it perfectly walked the line of showing you just enough of the utterly graphic, disturbing stuff from the book without it being gratuitous. and just like everyone else has said, Mo'Nique is absolutely amazing in this most disturbing of roles.

Shutter Island: i'm not sure i can quite say i enjoyed this movie, but i liked being mind-fucked by it, and it's definitely a pretty original and well-made movie. i give it credit for creating a constant air of genuine unease throughout, and for keeping me thinking about it days after i saw it.

Babies: been meaning to watch this for a long time, finally saw it on streaming today. it's not quite what i expected. it's very literally a silent camera watching four different babies from four different parts of the world for the first year of their lives. no narrator, subtitles, or explanations. which is fine i guess, but being that i'm pretty ignorant to a lot of the stuff i saw, i would have liked some kind of narration of the significance of certain different cultural practices and such. instead of imbuing this idea of human togetherness through the universalism of birth and raising children, it's instead a bit alienating seeing the different ways that people handle different things, but not knowing exactly why, if that makes any sense. it's really beautifully shot, though. my favorites were the Mongolian and Namibian baby, mainly because of how breathtaking their environments were, from the bright, multi-colored carpets and clothes inside the Mongolian tents to the beautiful red dirt and dust storms of Namibia. probably the most interesting sequence to me was showing how the different mothers bathed/cleaned their babies. of course the American and Tokyo babies were bathed in a shower or tub, but in Mongolia, where i'm assuming water is probably a bit more scarce and at least there's no plumbing, the mother bathed the baby in a washtub and sprayed water over him with her mouth, acting as her own shower. it also showed her clean his face with her own breast milk, very self-sufficient. and the Namibian mother licked her baby's face clean with an expertise i found entrancing; she'd work up a good spit, lick over her face, pause to spit out any grit or dirt, and repeat.

The Business of Being Born: i wasn't originally interested in seeing this until a friend discussed it with me, and i'm really glad i gave it a watch. very eye-opening. it's very significant to me how much women in American society have been conditioned to be terrified of giving birth naturally, and even told that they can't do it on their own. i think it's important for women to realize that they have a choice, which i wasn't even really aware of before this documentary. i also liked that it doesn't dismiss the medical industry, and does admit that birthing complications do happen and that hospital births can be life-saving, but on the whole high-risk births are relatively rare and most births can go just fine without medical intervention. i encourage anyone who's interested in this stuff, general medical history of midwifery and birthing in hospitals, or just women's rights and reproductive health issues to give this a watch. it's on streaming Netflix, and i think on YouTube, and probably other places online.

blah, blah, blah.