Kaylie vs. Art

farm animals

2012-01-27T14:30:00.002-05:00

Corey and Jenelle from Teen Mom 2

Sailor Moon and a sugar packet

plus, i got this in the mail last night! Battle Kittens: the art of R. Dart. i strongly suggest everyone get it, as her art is mind-meltingly good, as is her Battle Kitten stuff, which i really hope develops into a full-blown comic or animated project some day. apparently she was a background artist for Mission Hill and is now a character designer for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, two of my favorite animated series ever, so that could help explain my fondness for her stuff.

and it's Gammy-approved!

how easy it is to invent a humanity

2012-01-26T16:39:00.002-05:00

costume concepts/fan art from the Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. maybe i was a little too literal with the "wings" described on the handmaid's head coverings, but it's what i pictured while reading it. i'm a little indignant that this book isn't as popular as other distopian novels of the era, like 1984 and Brave New World. personally I find it a lot more riveting and better written.

boohoo

2012-01-19T22:48:00.001-05:00

imperfections

2012-01-17T21:36:00.005-05:00

i used to be really into astrology when i was young....recently i've started reading my horoscopes again. i realize it's superstition, but it seems to be really accurate for me. my sun and moon are both in Aquarius, so i'm like Aquarius extreme!

Aquarius Degree: 6° 42'

(most relevant passages boldened for emphasis)

Original, knowledgeable, competent, has strong opinions. Likes freedom, enjoys reading. Hates mediocrity and incompetence.

In many life situations, the Moon in Aquarius people have their own, distinct and sometimes very original opinion, and they are not going to change this opinion no matter what, even if they will be left completely alone. It is very important for these individuals to retain their independence. They don't want their personal life to be anybody else's concern.

Often the Moon in Aquarius individuals have some outstanding abilities in one or another field, and they work like a magnet for those people who share their interests. This is why so often they take a central place in the company of like-minded friends. And even there they somehow manage to keep their uniqueness. They are not mixing well with the other people, they are together with them, but still alone.

As a result of their character, quite often the Moon in Aquarius folks can become really alone in their personal life, and their constant urge for independence can lead to chronic emotional stress. Hence their susceptibility to the disorders of nervous and circulatory systems, as also those unpredictable changes in their mood. There is an impression that at times they are getting tired of themselves, and to get rid of this tiredness they are trying to change abruptly, as if to become a different person.

To restore after a significant stress, the Moon in Aquarius persons need to have a hobby which they could plunge themselves into, forgetting about the surrounding world. It would be really good for them if they could speak out their problems, but this is not so easy, because Lunar Aquarians do not like to just chat with anyone about anything. They prefer dealing with experts in their field of interest - this is with whom they are ready to talk endlessly. And if there is no such a person around, a good book could serve as a replacement for a friend.

The Moon in Aquarius parents can be very original. From the early years they will make clear to their child that everyone's individuality is precious, and everyone should be independent. As a result, their kids might not be always properly fed or dressed, but they will become self-reliant earlier than their peers, and their talents will develop more successfully.

playing with dolls

2012-01-09T01:36:00.001-05:00

i finally got my fakie Blythe this weekend and started working on her immediately...i carved her face a bit, took out all her old eye chips, pulled out her old hair and sewed in new hair wefts, and spray painted her head and body and eyelids.

i'm really pleased with the paint job; it came out beautifully! i used SEM spray paint in bluebird brown, and i'm so impressed. i heard stories of modders having trouble with the paint remaining sticky on the body/legs, but i had no such problem. even though i sprayed it on a little too thick at times, she still came out perfectly even and dry! and i love the color. i was afraid it might look too unnatural, like grey-black, but it's a warm, rich brown, like chocolate.

her hair is what's giving me the biggest problem. i did the lock and loop method for making hair plugs on my first custom, Vi, but i did a few too many so her hair is unmanageably thick, not to mention the process takes forever. so i decided to try using hair wefts as they're "meant" to be used, and sew them directly on the scalp...it did save a lot of time, but maybe i didn't do the rows close enough together, because the hair is very thin and no matter how i comb it, you can always see the tracks of the wefts/scalp through the hair somewhere. sigh. i'm not sure what to do to fix it...i guess i'll have to order some more hair and try filling in the gaps, being careful not to make it too thick, like Vi's.

speaking of Vi, after getting frustrated and having to stop working on nameless new doll's hair, i was inspired to go through with my original idea and cut Vi's hair into an asymmetrical bob with some side bangs, and i flat-ironed the crap out of it so it doesn't have those annoying little plugs poking up like before.

i think it suits her a lot better. for a while i was really unhappy with her, after learning so much more about modding, that i thought about taking her apart and starting from scratch (but that would be almost impossible, since i glued her scalp on), or even selling her, but after giving her this little hair cut, i'm satisfied. i think next i might replace her eyelashes, and i'll be content. she's not bad for a very first mod, i think. ;)

Vi with my toki doki Kaiju plushie Rob got me for xmas

i got a bunch of new clothes recently too, hence Vi's awesome new dress, so i decided to stop neglecting Astrid and dress her up too.

i love this sweater on her! i wish i had one like it in real life, heheh. Astrid is so elegant and perfect the way she is, i don't think i could ever bring myself to mod her.<3

so, now i have all three kinds of dolls - a real, authentic Blythe (Astrid), a Basaak knock-off (Vi), and a Color Change Eye Doll knock-off (new nameless doll). Blythes are of course amazing, the quality is so astounding and impressive, but they're so perfect that it's hard to bring myself to think about modding them, unless it were a bait Blythe or something. especially with how expensive they are. so for modding purposes, i plan on sticking to the knock-offs. most fake Blythe enthusiasts seem to prefer Basaaks, i guess because their mold and bodies are most similar to real Blythes. but after working with both, i think i actually prefer the CCE doll. she may not be as close to the real thing, but i actually find her slightly different body shape cuter. i like that her arms are ball-jointed, and it doesn't bother me that the waist doesn't turn. it seems a lot easier to open her head and take apart her eye mechanism; in fact, the plastic for the CCE dolls seems way more pliable and forgiving than the rigid plastic of the Basaak. i also love how breezey it is getting her eye chips out compared to Basaaks - just pop 'em out with a melted glue stick, instead of having to drill into the chips with a hot screw, then work on trying to get all the eye chip shrapnel out of the socket...ugh, what a nightmare that was!

i also got a bunch of dolls (mostly Maxies), some clothes, some Littlest Pet Shops, and a Fantasy Filly from my parents' house that i need to go through. sigh. almost thirty, and i'd still rather just sit at home by myself and play with toys. and watch Jem.

waiting for some action

2012-01-06T00:32:00.000-05:00

hey, i finally finished something! i drew this months and months ago and just now got around to finishing it. i experimented with the colors a bit so i could color faster...hopefully i didn't sacrifice quality too much. it's Fuss and her raptorex. i have pin ups planned for every member of all the gangs in Dingeddon...it'll take a while, but i'll get to 'em all. ;)

oh ! i was also a guest on my friends Ross and Nick's podcast: the Ernest cast, where we review Ernest movies and talk about other stuff, and our comic projects, and i talk about Dinogeddon for like a second, hehe. so check it out!

drive

2012-01-02T22:51:00.000-05:00

doodles of characters from Ross Campbell's Shadoweyes

Lupe

Shock

new year's resolutions....i have a few. mostly i want to be more productive. :p

don't forget me

2011-12-28T00:27:00.000-05:00

my christmas haul:

from Rob:
the entire Jem series dvd box set
the Last Unicorn hardcover graphic novel

from parents:
ipod touch 4G
hello kitty booties to wear around the house
a dressy blouse
new sheets/comforter
new underwear
a 2012 calendar of cats sleeping
a bath and bodyworks Paris Amore gift set (love this smell, i needed a new "signature fragrance")

oh, and a Wooly Willy.

from Nana:
super comfy socks
a bag of mixed nuts
weird christmas tree ornaments

and money/gift cards from various other family members.

it was a good christmas, though i was never really able to feel all cozy, or however you're supposed to feel. i guess because i'm so old, and because it was kind of surreal coming home for christmas but being in a totally different house i've never been in before. but my parents' new house is very beautiful, and i'm happy for them. i just wish it wasn't up this crazy steep hill on like a gravel road.

whenever i visit the south again i have this weird anxiety, because although i'm from there and i guess part of it will always be with me, it feels like a past life i'm revisiting, and everyone just knows me as who i was, not the person i've become, and it feels kind of mortifying. it's hard to explain. but i'm very grateful for all the people in my life who care about me and truly know me. it's good to be reminded of all the good things i have going and all the good people i have surrounding me in my life.

pardon me

2011-12-18T16:34:00.001-05:00

last weekend we had a little holiday party/get together thing, and this is the outfit i wore:

i've thought about making an outfit of the day blog type of thing, it's fun, but i don't really wear that many cute outfits, mainly just boring office clothes. but maybe i'll post it here whenever i particularly like an outfit...it's my blog, why not.

i spent a lot of money i don't really have on getting a new fakie Blythe an supplies to mod her. i haven't really been feeling drawing and comics lately, but i miss doing something creative...i've been thinking about maybe sewing or knitting again too, but i'm really bad at knitting because i can't count the stitches easily...i think i might have a learning disability that was never addressed when i was younger, because i catch myself trying to read things backwards a lot, and i really struggle with basic arithmetic that doesn't phase other people...whenever i have to count wads of cash at work i start hyperventilating and my face gets all hot because i'm worried i'll count wrong, or the person watching me will realize i'm having real difficulty counting it, heh.

i want to make a dark-skinned Blythe with bright orange hair...i learned a lot from my first mod, so i hope she comes out okay. i'm excited to get started on her.

your destiny may keep you warm

2011-12-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

i want to be in a band.

there is a light

2011-11-28T01:36:00.001-05:00

carnotaurus studies

Audrey Hepburn

raptor studies

Tropes vs. Women video series from Bitch Magazine on Feminist Frequency - a lot of this stuff probably isn't new to a lot of people, but i think it's presented in a really entertaining, accessible, concise and still informative way. highly recommended whether you're a feminist or a fangirl/boy, or just want to be more knowledgeable and informed about the media you take in.

rolling with the punches

2011-11-08T22:29:00.001-05:00

i feel like depression's trying to set in again....i know i'm not thinking/feeling anything new or that hasn't already been felt by most people a billion times before, and in the grand scheme of things none of it matters anyway, but......blah. i feel directionless and purposeless, meaningless. sometimes i think of death as a positive alternative to things because at least it's something new and unknown, and is exciting in that way...even if it turns out nothing happens when you're dead, at least you stop being disappointed.

lately i'm obsessed with chubby/fat girls that have comparatively tiny hands and feet.

raging seas

2011-10-27T01:04:00.001-04:00

i've been watching Gamera movies lately: Gamera, Gamera vs. Barugon, Gamera vs. Guiron, Gamera vs. Gaos, and Gamera vs. Zigra tonight. so far i think Gaos and Guiron are my favorites as far as the movies, but i think Barugon is my favorite monster. Zigra's kind of boring, there's just so much people talking and doing stuff, and i just want to see Gamera shooting fire underwater and bodyslamming the shit out of Zigra. although it was pretty awesome when Gamera knocks Zigra out for a minute and plays, like, cartoon xylophone music on his fins, and cracks himself up, haha.

i kinda made a mash-up of different Gameras i like...plus i tried to make him more turtle-y, with a long neck, like a snapping turtle. when i was little i used to find turtles in the woods a lot, and catch snapping turtles when i'd go fishing with my dad, and Gamera has always kind of reminded me of those turtles. i guess i made him kind of scary and gross, heh, but i was kind of picturing him as more of a swamp-dwelling Gamera than a sea-dwelling one.

i also did a quick sketch of Zigra, but it's mostly from memory and i kinda lost interest near the end, so it kinda sucks, heh. i had a lot of fun drawing these though, and it kinda makes me want to draw the other monsters i've seen so far.

i named my cat Gamera, but he is not awesome and badass like the real Gamera, so i probably should have named him something else.

put my love on ice

2011-10-20T00:10:00.002-04:00

last week my house got vandalized, robbed...somebody threw a brick through the window, scared my pets half to death and made off with the flatscreen tv, the xbox, the wii, all the games, my DS, and my camera. they left lots of fingerprints and they were good, the detective says, but who knows if that'll go anywhere...i'm just glad they didn't take my computer, i don't know what i'd do. i was pretty shaken up about it at first, but i've kinda become ambivalent...i don't really care about stuff, but i really hate the outside world and my home was like a safe little fortress i could retreat to to get away, and now it feels violated...but i'm not having trouble sleeping anymore. human beings are shit, i already knew this. i learned nothing new, except the expanses of my naivety i didn't eve know i had left.

...i don't think anyone ever misses me. i don't let it slow me down.

it's the only way to live

2011-10-08T23:04:00.002-04:00

i got a car!!! it happened suddenly. i wasn't even looking for her. but then i saw her, and after being inside her, i knew i must have her. things worked out pretty good. i don't think i was very savvy, but maybe i didn't come off as too much of a country bumpkin dumbass either. anyway, i really like her.

i think i'm going to call her Ramona.

otherwise...i'm happy that it's Buster Keaton month on TCM.

living in captivity

2011-10-06T00:39:00.000-04:00

right now i really wish i could have neon orange hair more than anything. :/

Britney Spears - "Crazy" on youtube

No Doubt - "Just A Girl" on youtube

i really hate car shopping. i hate cars. i wish i didn't have to have one. :T

another nail for my heart

2011-09-29T01:07:00.000-04:00

why do my friends always end up abandoning me??

in the rain

2011-09-27T20:55:00.000-04:00

my car broke down :(

Tangled review

2011-09-25T01:39:00.000-04:00

finally watched Tangled...i saw it a couple weeks ago when it started streaming on Netflix, but i wanted to wait a bit and mull it over a while before i wrote about it.

since it came out in theaters, i'd basically heard nothing but good things about it, with people gushing over it, and i can kinda see why. it is a pretty good return to the Disney Renaissance-style movies, while improving (a bit) on some problematic themes in older Disney princess movies. the animation, particularly the lighting effects, environments, and use of color is absolutely stunning. the animators seemed to find a good middle-ground between the overly realistic rendering CG leans toward and the classic cartoonishness and exaggeration of traditional animation...although sometimes it seemed a bit awkward to me, like i found myself staring at the characters' hands, which were very realistically rendered with visible bone, muscle and skintone, but then their faces were still cartoony, giving me this weird vibe of real people performing in cartoon masks....but maybe that's just me, because no one else i've talked to seemed to notice this type of thing at all, heh.

as for the story, i thought it was an interesting twist on the traditional Rapunzel fairytale. of course it's changed to Rapunzel being of noble birth instead of the daughter of peasants, because she must be a princess. the only part that i thought was really weird was that without the pregnant mother craving cabbage storyline, her having the name Rapunzel is never explained, even though it's a pretty strange name in a world populated by people with mostly modern, popular English names. but whatever.

as for the music, i'm no expert, but i'd say it's better than the past couple Disney movies, but still pretty mediocre. nothing was really all that catchy or memorable, and i'm beginning to think Disney will never be able to replicate the musical magic of its Disney Renaissance films with Alan Menkin dead. however, the one exception in Tangled is Mother Gothel's song, "Mother Knows Best." i have to admit, Mother Gothel is probably my favorite part of the whole movie. it seems like a while since Disney had a fun, interesting, viable villain that was more than a vague stereotype. She reminds me of Cruella DeVille and Ursella, in that she's a strong, confident woman who is also downright gleeful about being evil, which is probably my favorite type of Disney villain. it is kind of sucky that strong, powerful, sexually aware and confident women are almost always regulated to being evil, but i guess that's how things are still going. but i think Mother Gothel is particularly interesting, because although she is presented as the clear villain of the movie, she seems to mostly inhabit this morally grey area. yes, she does kidnap a baby, but she lovingly raises it as her own daughter. yes, she does basically imprison Rapunzel and lie to her about the world being out to get her so she won't leave the tower, but she's also keeping her safe, and taking care of her. she even sets out on a long journey to get a special birthday gift for Rapunzel at her request. pretty much the most evil thing she does is manipulate people, and in the end attempts to murder the hero. i guess her motivations are mostly selfish, in that she needs Rapunzel to be healthy and happy so that she can use her magic hair, but i think it's a very interesting, strange dynamic of the witch actually showing genuine care and concern for her charge, even if it is mostly self-serving. it kinda reminded me of an overprotective parent relationship, to the extreme, heh.

there are, predictably, annoying sidekicks for comedy relief in Rapunzel's pet chameleon, the army guard horse that's chasing Flynn Rider, and the group of comical bandits they befriend with Rapunzel's powers of ADOWABLENESS, but they're mercifully sparse and used effectively. Flynn Rider is a great character; it's hard to go wrong with a charming rogue with a heart of gold. his facial expressions are amazing, and the animators did a great job milking ever bit of comedy from them. i also think his design is interesting - as far as i know, he's the first Disney hero with facial hair. as for Rapunzel and how she stacks up as a Disney princess, she's pretty middle of the road. she's childlike, innocent, adorable and has the ability to charm animals, like almost all former princesses. she's very young-looking, with her large eyes and forehead, and gangly body. i like that she has freckles and big feet, and that she's barefoot through the entire movie. she's very unlike "sexy", more mature princesses like Jasmine and Pocahontas; she's very cute and sexually oblivious, sort of a throw-back to old school princesses like Snow White and Cinderella. but she's still much more cute than sexualized, which may or may not be a good thing, but eh. i guess it's a good thing to show young children that there are different ways of being a girl. as for her personality, i'm a bit disappointed. most Disney princesses can be easily associated with a special talent they have, or at least with strong personality traits (Ariel's singing and insatiable curiosity, Jasmine's fiery personality and independence, Belle's love of reading and refusal to settle), but Rapunzel is just cute and exciteable. oh, and she paints or something. i was really disappointed with the treatment of her painting talent. i was pretty excited to see that there was finally going to be a princess who was an artist, but it's treated as more of an afterthought than as an important aspect of the character. i was hoping once Rapunzel was in the outside world, there'd be some little scene about her getting excited about seeing art supplies she'd never seen before, or her sketching things she was seeing for the first time, or even admiring art work...but once she leaves the tower she just draws on the sidewalk with chalk or something. it's as if she was only an artist when she was in the tower because it was her best way to kill time. i guess it's kind of nitpicky, but as a film created by a bunch of artists, i figured the idea of being an artist would be presented as a more of an important aspect. i also find it interesting that Rapunzel is explicitly stated to be 18, since the majority of past princesses have been 16. and that at the end of the movie, Flynn states that they eventually were married after a few years, instead of the movie ending with their immediate wedding, like other Disney princess films.

overall, it was a fun, interesting film and i enjoyed it. (plus, Ron Pearlman twin thugs!) concept art images like the one above though kind of make me really wish that this had been a traditionally animated film instead of the blasse Princess and the Frog, but i seem to have a pretty large bias against 3D than most people, who seem think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread and traditional animation is out with the dinosaurs.

oh, and i think it's pretty dumb that they named it "Tangled" instead of "Rapunzel." i read somewhere that it was some sort of marketing ploy so that more boys would go see the movie, and if that's the case, blegh.

Dinogeddon page 9

2011-09-19T02:33:00.000-04:00

i think maybe i ratcheted up the colors too intense on this one, or made it too red or something...the colors are supposed to be gradually getting darker and more intense because the sun is setting, but maybe it's too much too soon. i'll probably tweak the colors some more after i've taken a break from staring at it so long.

never remember

2011-09-15T00:57:00.000-04:00

sticky notes

honest mistake

2011-09-06T20:31:00.001-04:00

secret confession: those ultra sound pictures of fetuses never really look like much of anything to me and kinda creep me out.

PONYGASM

2011-08-24T23:54:00.000-04:00

page four of my weird dream-based erotic comic thing. i guess i'll call it Ponygasm because i can't think of anything else.

i'm still working on Dinogeddon too, but i've been feeling lately like working on side projects like this, and maybe even painting, or at least sketching.

metamorphosis

2011-08-15T23:35:00.000-04:00

choking and keys

2011-08-08T01:27:00.000-04:00

embarrassing old comic pages based on real life.

i can't find the rest of the pages, but it ends with Jack being abandoned by April and Lance, and he finds a pay phone on his own and calls a tow truck, and waves at Lance and April as the tow truck goes by them. then he shows Subi that he still has the key that they had to remove from his stomach because it was caught at just where his esophagus ends, and Subi is grossed out.

not never broken

2011-07-25T23:01:00.000-04:00

quick oviraptor sketch. i think it's been established that oviraptors were pretty big and probably didn't eat eggs. in Dinogeddon i have people raising them for their eggs like chickens.

ache like i ache

2011-07-24T01:01:00.000-04:00

so i've been buying a lot of clothes lately because it's the first time in years i've had any disposable income, and also i've been wanting to update my wardrobe for quite some time. anyway, today i decided that while i do have a lot of old t-shirts, seeing as that's primarily what i used to wear, i have very few band t-shirts. so i went online to see if i could find any for my favorite bands.

and...nothing. i mean, i guess i could get a band t-shirt for some band i kinda like, or if i just like the t-shirt or whatever, but i feel like i have to feel pretty passionately about someone/something if i'm going to give them my money so i can be a walking advertisement to them, haha. i was looking around at shops that specifically sell music shirts and i don't even know who the hell like 80% of the bands/artists are on them anymore. i guess i've never been a huge music aficionado, i don't really seem to be as into music as a lot of people are, but man. feelin' so old these days. a lot of the time i find myself wondering if my best days are behind me. it's like i'm having a quarter-life crisis or something. i feel like everyone else i see is doing something, or they at least have a plan, know exactly what they're aiming for, whereas i'm just here, not really sure about anything, especially what i want. maybe that's just delusion, though. i have been known to suffer from constant fits of "the grass is always greener" syndrome.

Hole - "Doll Parts", youtube

give me a reason to care about anything.

derailing

2011-07-14T01:04:00.002-04:00

page 8

slip

2011-07-07T00:48:00.000-04:00

more work doodles

i shouldn't be allowed to drink coffee.

pancake batter

2011-06-23T01:38:00.000-04:00

sticky notes

work memo pad doodles

i'm thinking about applying for an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop....

silence

2011-06-19T18:02:00.000-04:00

just a quick note to say i'm still alive. i've been veeeery busy lately....for me, anyway. i got a new job doing clerical/receptionist stuff at a car dealership. everybody's really nice, the pay is good, and the girl that did my job before me was a huge screw-up i guess, so i look amazing by comparison. it's rough getting used to a full-time schedule, though. i haven't really had much time to draw, or anything else.

and i'm hesitant to admit it, but i just haven't really wanted to draw, or care about drawing anymore. i'm wondering if it's just things being kinda hectic right now and maybe once i settle in i'll want to go back to drawing and stuff, but i'm also slightly worried that i just don't feel it anymore. i've always felt like nobody really cares about what i'm doing, i mean when you get right down to it, but that was okay, because i still cared and that was enough. but now i don't even care anymore, so...i'm not sure how to feel about that.

but i've said plenty of times in the past that i'm going to quit art/comics and i always came back, so who knows. maybe it's just another one of those things. just putting my energy into something nobody cares about, not even me, seems like a huge waste of time right now, and time seems to be slipping by so fast i'm afraid i'm going to wake up tomorrow and i'll be eighty.

goat

2011-06-05T14:22:00.000-04:00

hazy

2011-06-02T01:01:00.000-04:00

i'm not much into drawing these days, but i'm real into sketching.

stretching my wings

2011-05-30T22:57:00.000-04:00

in your dreams

2011-05-29T00:40:00.000-04:00

an image i had in my head all day...hopefully one day i will get to make it a finished piece.

Apna Desh musical scene, YouTube
Hum Kaale Hain To from Gumnaam, YouTube

listened to this really interesting story about a guy's quest for spiritual enlightenment that took him to india where he met what he was sure was the current incarnation of buddha, and through a bizarre series of events went from not believing in reincarnation at all to being confident that he had been the buddha's horse and been with him in thousands of lives, and came full circle on this journey of spiritual enlightenment. it made me wish something similar could happen to me. but i can't afford to go to india and study under a yogi, or cloister myself in the woods and write, or go to the desert and have peyote-induced spiritual journeys.

maybe the whole idea about finding your personal truth and reaching spiritual transcendence is that it happens in its own way, whenever the time is right. at least i hope.

they don't love you like i love you

2011-05-23T23:22:00.000-04:00

my friend Hezaa and i were going to do this meme thing together, but we both only did like the first part of it then forgot, haha. mine is terrible and doesn't deserve to be seen by anyone, but here's a face-meltingly awesome portrait she drew of me. i wish i was really this hot. i love the stars, and my little t-rex friend, haha.

it's based on this picture of me:

if you haven't seen her stuff you should check her out, she's like ultra amazing, and really likes Sailor Moon so you know she's cool.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Maps", youtube

wait

teardrop

2011-05-23T20:12:00.002-04:00

pretty much a verbatim transcript of an awkward encounter at a stupid family thing. i only slightly exaggerated his hideousness. his teeth were...hard to look at.

i guess i'm so used to bottling things up that sometimes i open up the floodgates at any given opportunity, even if it's just someone smiling vacantly and condescendingly at me whilst i pour out my heart to them, when they obviously couldn't give a shit and were just pretending that they did. oops.

Q Lazzarus - "Goodbye Horses", youtube

unrelated, i've also come to realize (at length) that i become too easily attached/smitten with nice people, just because they are nice and make me feel that my existence is validated. just because someone is nice to me doesn't mean they care, at least in that way. they're just being nice.

a kiss with a fist

2011-05-20T03:15:00.000-04:00

page 7

this shit is insane! really cool, though. Abstraction by Shintaro Kago

Dengue Fever - "Seeing Hands," youtube

white soft rope

2011-05-13T17:00:00.000-04:00

i've been really into rococo-style ladies lately. an idea i have for Dinogeddon is having different themed gangs, kinda like the Warriors or A Clockwork Orange or Surf Nazis Must Die, because i love that ridiculous stuff. maybe one gang would be a bunch of fancy ladies and fops in powdered wigs and stuff? hahaha

"Lovely Head" - Goldfrapp, youtube
probably my favorite Goldfrapp song.

"Heart Shaped Box" - Nirvana, youtube
love this video. so good.

downtrodden

2011-05-06T19:50:00.000-04:00

page 6

the Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love video, YouTube
it kinda weirds me out that the lead singer of the Darkness looks a bit like an ex of mine, haha.

i guess my parents' house is totally destroyed. all my childhood toys and my old diaries and shit are gone. kind of depressing.

so tired/bored with everything.

i need a vacation in the worst way.

tornadoes

2011-04-29T00:46:00.001-04:00

i'm guessing by now everyone's aware of the mega tornadoes and storms that ripped through the deep south and midwest wednesday, causing lots of damage and many deaths. for those who don't know, i'm originally from Alabama, specifically the Concord area, which was very hard hit. fortunately all my friends and family that i've been able to contact so far have all been safe and no one's injured, but my parents have lost their house, at least until they can assess the damage.

this has hit me hard in the obvious ways, but also tears at my heart to see images on the news of places i grew up, places i recognize, that basically got wiped away. i mean, look at these photos: http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/04/storms-tornadoes-devastate-the-south/100055/ it's so surreal/heartbreaking.

if anyone feels compelled to help in this time of dire need, here's some places you can donate:

this news article includes links at the bottom with lots of different ways to help: http://abcnews.go.com/US/alabama-tornado-2011-storm-victims/story?id=13477481

a fund for donating items, if you live near Birmingham: http://www.birminghammommy.com/2011/04/birmingham-area-tornado-relief-donations.html

a fund specifically for Alabama: http://www.causes.com/causes/608753-alabama-tornado-relief

thanks for any and all help; people like my family really need/appreciate it. and to all the people in the affected areas who may have lost power, your homes, and even loved ones, my heart goes out to you.

wasted days

2011-04-25T22:20:00.000-04:00

i recently watched Candy Man for the first time...actually, i remember renting it when i was a little kid, but i didn't understand what was going on in it and got bored and turned it off. so glad i gave it a second chance, i loved it.

wanna go for a ride?

2011-04-23T23:04:00.000-04:00

i know i've been bad and not keeping up with the daily sketches. -_-; work, blah, blah, tired, blah, working on website, blah, blah, blah. i have been sketching in my sketchbook more, but i'm just too damn lazy to use a scanner.

but...! good news is Dinogeddon is finally online!! :D i mean, it's already online, but, you know. it has its own little site now. ;)

one of my friends at work is an intuitive supposedly, and she read my cards the other day. i guess everything she said was pretty accurate. i need to work on some things. but she said i'm on "the right path," and pretty soon it'll start to pay off and good things will start coming my way. haha i hope so!

Smashing Pumpkins - "Zero" , YouTube

some kinda hate

2011-04-18T22:34:00.000-04:00

daily sketch 5, Mind's Eye from my friend Nick Marino's webcomic Super Haters.

she's probably reacting to something stupid Destruct-O-Tron's said/done.

oh, also! i asked one of my fave artists, Kippery, to draw Ronnie and Rexxie when she was taking requests on her tumblr saturday night, and she totally did!! so now i can die happy, the end.

work all night on a drink of rum

2011-04-18T00:33:00.000-04:00

Dr. Girlfriend from Venture Brothers

plus old sketch of Eve

Beetlejuice - Day-O (Banana Boat Song), YouTube

tripping balls

2011-04-16T21:47:00.002-04:00

haha, oops, blew my daily sketch thing already. guess it's a mostly-daily-sketch thing now.

day 3, the Director from Pure Trance by Junko Mizuno.

swans

2011-04-14T21:59:00.000-04:00

daily sketch, day 2. Unico!

this one was kind of a cop-out because it's such an easy character to draw, but i'm tired from work, and working out. -_- plus i really like Unico.

even though Unico is really sad. it even made me sad when i was a kid. i hated how Unico always had to leave his friends and get moved around by the West Wind so he wouldn't get killed.

also, Dame Darcy is probably one of my favorite artists now.

i so admire artists that have this certain kind of quality...it's hard for me to describe. like they focus so much less on stylistics and process are all about expression and conviction of a feeling or tone. does that make any sense? i don't know. i get so caught up in worrying if every little thing looks right, if my perspective is believable, if my composition is shit, that i often lose the joy of making art. i'm envious of people who don't seem to worry about any of that stuff at all, that seem to jot and scribble their ideas out with a passionate abandon, and it looks fucking amazing.

overtime

2011-04-13T14:49:00.000-04:00

daily sketch, day one. ninja turtle.

not really sure why i chose TMNT...i never really drew them before, so i thought i'd give it a shot.

i don't usually like drawing fan art, so i think for my first few daily sketches i'll try doing that, get out of my comfort zone and whatnot. i also don't like coloring so i'm gonna try to color them all too, but quickly. so it'll probably look like shit, but maybe after a few it will help me get better at coloring faster, haha.

aching

2011-04-12T12:14:00.001-04:00

page 5

maybe someday i'll get a proper website going, who knows. o_O

also check out this fan art from none other than Ross Campbell!

i really need to be drawing more. i was thinking of doing a daily sketch thing like i've seen a lot of other artists doing...would anybody be into that?

false prophet

2011-04-01T23:24:00.001-04:00

right now i'm reading Art & Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking by David Bayles and Ted Orland. it's really helping me through a tough period. well, not really tough, but it's definitely making me see things in a new light and examine why i feel and act certain ways about making art or not making art. some parts seem like they were written directly to me, haha.

i need to draw in my sketchbook more.

we are animals

2011-03-25T01:48:00.000-04:00

page three of my horrible erotic pony dream comic

the Europeans - "Animal Song" video, YouTube

fork

2011-03-23T20:58:00.000-04:00

oh yeah, almost forgot: my beautiful and talented new friend Cara Stasick made this awesome Dingogeddon fan art of Ronnie and Rexxie! gah, i'm getting so spoiled with fan art, and the character everybody's drawing hasn't even appeared in the comic yet! i better get busy! ;)

piss

2011-03-23T14:40:00.000-04:00

Julian Casablancas - "Out of the Blue" unofficial music video, YouTube

rawr

2011-03-21T18:57:00.000-04:00

my pal Bo did this totally awesome fan art of Ronnie for me!!! i'm so excited you guys!!

Tyranosaur-ass by *Steelpengu on deviant ART

unable

2011-03-14T19:55:00.003-04:00

page 4

round and round

2011-03-09T16:11:00.001-05:00

dino sketches

watching a lot of documentaries lately...watched a few on dinosaurs. so cool. t. rex was actually really smart by dinosaur standards!

also watched a really interesting Nova episode about dogs and how they've evolved special abilities specifically for interacting/communicating with humans that wolves never originally had. also featured a fascinating sandbox experiment in how dogs were probably domesticated:
Russian "Tame Foxes" Experiment, YouTube

i think it's pretty fucked up that they did that to the foxes, but still really interesting. and they came from a fur farm, so i guess it's better to be in a weird breeding program than be turned into a stole or whatever.

Dino Riders Intro, YouTube
Dinosaucers Intro, YouTube
Cadillacs and Dinosaurs Intro, YouTube

"i wish someone would tell me about me."

2011-03-03T18:19:00.000-05:00

one of my favorite movies, All About Eve, was on tv last night, so i had to stay up and watch it. soooo good. one of Bette Davis's best roles, i think. it's so perfect for her, especially at that point in her career. and it's so well-written, the dialogue just grabs you by the throat and won't let go. it's kind of considered hokey or whatever now i guess, but there aren't many (if any) movies nowadays that have such sharp, self-aware dialogue, and executed so perfectly.

for those unfamiliar, the movie centers around famous but aging Broadway actress Margo Channing, whose fairly perfect life is infiltrated by a seemingly wide-eyed, star-struck ingenue, Eve, who is her biggest fan and quickly endears herself to Margo and everyone around her with her apparent unparalleled devotion and becomes Margo's assistant. But over time Margo begins feeling insecure next to the younger, pretty aspiring actress whom everyone is constantly praising, and it even begins to drive a wedge between her, her friends and her much younger boyfriend. Slowly though, everyone begins to realize that Eve isn't as innocent as everyone perceives her to be, and that she's willing to do literally anything to reach her goal of being the new Margo Channing.

this movie kind of amazes me because it's kind of sensitive and forward-thinking in dealing with these raw, female emotions in relation to gender roles and expectations. it's still a totally 50's handling of these subjects, of course...."Funny business, a woman's career - the things you drop on your way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them again when you get back to being a woman. That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted. And in the last analysis, nothing's any good unless you can look up just before dinner or turn around in bed, and there he is. Without that, you're not a woman. You're something with a French provincial office or a book full of clippings, but you're not a woman. Slow curtain, the end." i admire the admittance of how tough balancing gender expectations and having a successful career, even if it does still concede to the "unbreakable" tropes of society...but, i guess, that's still pretty radical stuff for 1950.

probably my most favorite scene of all is of course the party scene, which is Margo's boyfriend's coming home party, and a major turning point where earlier in the day she's beginning to get fed up with Eve, and that night finds her boyfriend unexpectedly home already and chatting with Eve before seeing her, which sets up the ultimate argument scene, haha.

another thing that i suddenly noticed was that there are a lot of parallels between All About Eve and Black Swan, i guess because they deal with sort of the same subjects, but go in completely different directions with it. pretty cool.

trouble

2011-03-01T20:11:00.000-05:00

page 3

love like poison

2011-02-26T21:06:00.001-05:00

i got my first Dinogeddon fan art!!! O_O boy, that was quick! and it's totally awesome too! from the very talented Chad Sergesketter!

then my friend Erin made me this:

thanks, Chad!!! thanks, Erin!!!

i'm so happy with the support i've been getting for Dinogeddon so far, and i'm only two pages into it, haha.<3 and fan art is like the best thing ever, the ultimate love letter, i really appreciate it. i hope i get some more as the comic goes on. thanks everyone who's keeping up with the comic!

swallow

2011-02-23T01:39:00.000-05:00

click for full-view

		this page almost killed me, blah. i have such a love/hate relationship with coloring. still not completely satisfied, but you gotta know when to just move the fuck on sometimes. continuous forward momentum is something i'm desperately embracing right now.

time warp

2011-02-22T01:26:00.000-05:00

this is from that time warp meme thing that was going around on DeviantArt for awhile...where you draw yourself and how you've evolved throughout your life...a few of my friends did it and i thought it looked like fun, but i forgot that i hate drawing myself, and it kinda ended up being a chore so...i don't think i'll ever finish it, so here ya go.

so obsessed with the new MLP: Friendship is Magic series lately, but i got nostalgic for the old MLP stuff.
My Little Pony: the Movie, part 2, YouTube
"i'll go it alooooooooone!" XD "NO! i don't need you! i don't need anybody!"
haha when i showed this to Rob he said "hmm, she kinda reminds me of SOMEONE." XD i guess that's why Lickety Split's one of my favorites; i love how angsty she is. i remember as a kid totally being like "yeah, Lickety Split, you run away!"

speaking of nostalgia....
TLC - "Creep" video, Youtube

Notorious B.I.G. - "Big Poppa" video, YouTube
"Between the Sheets" is such a stone-cold groove<3

Busta Rhymes - "Gimme Some More" video, YouTube
god, i miss when videos were so crazy like this! i especially love the beginning.

Toni Braxton - "You're Makin' Me High" video, YouTube
this one's so funny. XD

cat suits are pretty weird.

waiting for some action

2011-02-17T15:58:00.001-05:00

the first two pages of my crazy sex dream comic. i love bathrooms at clubs/bars that are covered in graffiti.

...i dunno, man. :|

fucked up my shoulder lifting weights i think...but at least it's not my drawing shoulder, ha.

Spring, stop teasing me, baby. come on. you know nobody can love you like i love you.

fffffffffffffffffffff, Automelodi<3
Automelodi - "Schema Corporeal" video, YouTube

it's not like a day will come when i'm satisfied

2011-02-15T16:10:00.000-05:00

at last - the first page of Dinogeddon. i figured i might as well go ahead and dive in, you know?

click to enlarge

i hope i'll have an official Dinogeddon site up soon. i feel kind of uneasy, like almost sick showing this off, i'm not sure why. i guess because this is a pretty personal project for me, as silly as it is, and it's been so long since i steadily, seriously created comic pages i kinda wonder if i can do it. we'll see, i guess!

i know you want to be in my bed

2011-02-14T18:32:00.001-05:00

i finally finished my first custom on my fakey Blythe today! it was a lot of work and it taught me a lot. here's what she looked like before i got my hands on her:

pretty awful, right? but here she is after, as of today.

her name's Vickie Venom, or Vi for short, and she's the lead singer/guitarist of her band, St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

she's not perfect, but i'm really happy with the way she came out. originally i had planned to give her an asymmetrical bob, but i kind of like her with the long hair, so it stays for now. i was also worried that maybe i carved her smile too wide and it would give her a creepy Cheshire cat sort of quality, but i think it looks all right, kind of mischievous. it was quite a headache working on her (my god, her EYES!), but i'm happy now. i like her.<3

my next project when i can afford it is to make a dark-skinned doll, which involves spray paint since the manufacturors of blythes and blythe knock-offs don't produce dolls of color, which is really bogus. but where there is a will, there is a way.

Beauty and the Beast

2011-02-04T23:58:00.000-05:00

watched Disney's Beauty and the Beast for the first time since i was a little kid. it held up pretty well, but this was always one of my favorites. one thing that really impressed me that i didn't really have an appreciation for as a kid was how gorgeous the backgrounds are. maybe some of the best i've ever seen in an animated film. one thing that kinda bothered me though was i didn't really like the style or whatever the background/extra characters were drawn in...i get that they have to be simpler than the main characters, but they just seemed too much so, and they seemed rounder, cartoonier, like Warner Bros. style instead of Disney. i guess it's not really a big deal, but it kept getting to me for some reason.

there are kind of a lot of weird stylistic choices in this movie.

one of the main reasons i've been wanting to rewatch it was that i've read a few feminist blogs/essays commenting on how sexist Disney films are, and the messages they are inundating into youth, especially young girls. (this is probably the best one i've found.) something i kept reading about Beauty and the Beast was that, in a nutshell, it's basic lesson is that if a woman stays with an abusive beast, he'll turn into a kind prince. i think this is a bit of a simplistic viewpoint. i find the relationship between Belle and the Beast to be perhaps the most dynamic and interesting of all Disney relationships. yes, things start off rocky when your new room mate has locked your dad in his dungeon and you have to barter for his life. but they actually spend time together, get to know each other presumably, unlike other Disney romances that blossom after one chance meeting and a song.

the Beast is abusive, i make no excuses for him there. but coming at it from the perspective of someone who intimately knows people that have been abusers, i can kind of sympathize with Beast to a degree. still, that gives him no right to continually traumatize and intimidate Belle, and she finally tells him as much and leaves, only returning when he saves her freakin' life, which i guess is pretty redeeming. (yes, i know it's lame that she has to be saved at all, but to her credit, she's holding her own against the wolves before Beast shows up. but yes, she still has to be reliant on a man, argh.) i guess i see it less as a woman putting up with an abuser and more as a woman realizing that, although deeply flawed, an individual may be worth her time once he realizes he must treat her with respect. it's something that happens in the best relationships: people bring out the best in each other. but obviously i'm in the minority, and i'm not sure very young viewers would understand how complicated and multi-faceted people and relationships can be.

i guess in the dvd i got, there's some new scene/song added in that was originally cut from the movie. i really didn't like it or think it was necessary; it was obviously animated recently and therefore didn't match up to the rest of the movie and it didn't really add anything to the plot (there's a REASON they cut stuff out of movies, people who make dvds!), but there was one little thing i liked about it. there's a tiny scene where Belle and Beast are in the library reading together, and Beast admits he's almost illiterate, and Belle helps him along. this is both a touching moment, and perhaps the most intimate scene that reveals how close they're becoming up until the big ballroom dance thing.

another thing i can't help but like is that the dashing, handsome, muscly guy ends up being the villain.

although, when Beast transforms, he's probably the hottest prince ever, so it's kind of a draw, i guess.

things i don't like include Nafu, or whatever Gaston's sidekick's name is, reinforcing the stereotype Disney always has of short, squat, fat people being comedy relief not to be taken seriously, and they're usually evil or aligned with the evil party. also love, love, LOVE how Belle starts off in the movie, an alienated, educated daydreamer who is beautiful but doesn't use her beauty as a commodity, who wants adventure and something more than "this provincial life," only for her "grand adventure" that she longs for to end up being giving up her life for her father's to live in a dingy old castle with a beast who she then marries, the end. it kinda gives the impression that if young girls long for a better, more exciting life, marriage is the answer.

man, the scene where Belle fumes about Gaston's arrogance in presuming she'll marry him, and she runs outside and there's that beautiful sunset over the fields of grass and the forest as she emotes with her arms and proclaims "i want ADVENTURE in the great, wide SOMEWHERE! i want it more than i can tell!" wow, that scene got me so fired up as a kid, even at 6 or 7 or however old i was, watching that art combined with that sentiment on the big screen in front of me, i was absolutely riveted! and it still holds up, that scene still gets me. i just wish that Belle was the Belle we got through the rest of the film.

and while i admit it's a little sad that Disney doesn't try harder or realize the effects it has one children and our culture in general, especially on things like gender roles, it also feels unfair to me to lump all of this blame on Disney when their movies are just retellings of folktales and fairytales that go way, way back, and therefore embody a different set of morals and values than we embrace today.

i was actually kind of impressed with how closely the Disney version followed the original story in this particular instance. Disney's Beast is more of a jerk, but that kinda makes more sense as to why he would've gotten cursed in the first place.

maybe i'm biased, because i just love fairytales in general, and sometimes it feels like a conflict of interest, being a feminist and loving stories that reinforce gender stereotypes and portray women as sleeping, obedient, paragons of purity and virtue and at the same time sexual desire, to be conquered, raped, protected, but never empowered. there's a great deal of romance to be found in suffering. maybe that's why i like fairytales and saints. as a young girl, in love with my own suffering, i fell in love with the unbearable but saintly suffering and love of the little mermaid when she turned to foam rather than kill her only love. my love knew no bounds for the little match girl who finally saw heavenly paradise as she froze to death in the street. the ones that feature tragedy and pain and make martyrs of its princesses are the most compelling to me.

i really like Beauty and the Beast being in a Rococo-type setting. i like the visual juxtaposition of opulence and daintiness with the frightening beast.

wax fruit

2011-02-01T02:47:00.001-05:00

costume design, blah.

notes: Ronnie - i know all her outfits are pretty similar, but that's just how i imagine her dressing. i see her as being really lazy and having no shame.

Fuss - probably the only real "fashionista" of the group. being brought up in an affluent family, i see her having elegant tastes and liking fashion, especially since she has the "model build," but she still steers toward stuff that has to do with racing and being fast, her real passion.

Jet - she was kinda tough for me, because Jet, deep down, is a sweet, naive giry-girl who likes animals and rainbows and stuff, but she desperately WANTS to be perceived as tough, so i tried to convey that a little through her style. i thought maybe she'd have some typical teenage clothes that she tries to "toughen up."

Lupe - one of the more challenging ones. i visualize Lupe being the girliest of the bunch, but at the same time, a post-apocalyptic environment kinda demands a certain practicality that makes skirts and other girly things seem out of place. so i tried to balance out Lupe's feminie tastes with the practical. i also thought since she's from the west it might be cool to put her in some western wear, like ponchos. i want to give her big 80's hair later on, but i'm not sure about these versions i drew here.

Shock - kinda punked out on Shock in the end. -_- i have some more ideas for her, but she's probably the biggest challenge for me right now. i see her as being pretty down-to-earth and tough. no-nonsense, but nice. i see her being a bit of a tomboy, but maybe she's still into fashion and stuff? i'm not sure. she's an ex-wrestler, so i was thinking maybe she could wear modified versions of her wrestling costumes?

got a daily deviation on deviantart today for my dinosaur laser battle drawing that spawned Dinogeddon. :D that's pretty exciting. i've always had a love-hate relationship with dA, but i'm really happy to finally get a DD like all my favorite artists on there. it also kinda made me realize the more visible you are, the more people will be dicks to you. i guess i just never thought of it before. but it's cool, i'm used to it in my everyday life, i just never really thought about it in terms of my art before. but i'd rather be visible and get hated on than be invisible.

OkGo - White Knuckles video, YouTube

lizard tail jerky

2011-01-25T17:09:00.001-05:00

where has Terror Vision been all my life? this movie is so great in so many ways, i don't even know where to start. actually, just read this review from House of Self-Indulgence. it pretty much sums up my feelings about it much better than i could.

i even did some fan art!

i also wanted to do O.D. and some of the amazing Gerrit Graham's facial expressions, but i lost gumption toward the end.

any movie so liberally sprinkled with the word "butthole" is immediately dear to my heart.

a valentine to myself.

Shiina Ringo - Mellow video, YouTube

dream castle

2011-01-18T21:21:00.001-05:00

...all spawned from a dream i had. sometimes i don't know if i should be grateful or weirded out by my dreams. most people have pretty straight-forward ones, or fantastical ones, but mine are usually kind of like a Dali painting; a bunch of disjointed, really crazy things with no apparent theme, but maybe there is an underlying one and i'm just not smart enough to figure it out, i don't know. at least this dream kinda had a story.

Aqua - Lollipop (Candyman) video, Youtube

Aqua - Barbie Girl video, YouTube

i love Aqua, totally un-ironically.

platinum soul

2011-01-12T22:58:00.000-05:00

FINALLY got my first real Blythe in the mail today! so excited! She's a Kiss Me True. here's what she looked like in her pretty box.

comparing her with my fakey Blybe, i can see why a lot of Blythe devotees are so obsessed with having a "real" Blythe. i didn't really get it, i've never been a "brand name" girl when it comes to much of anything, but after getting one myself, i understand. She feels heavier, sturdier, more substantial, and just overall better-made. i really like her make up (especially her pearl pink lips!) and that her face has a slight shine, but isn't too shiny. her hair--WOW! this might be the best quality hair i've ever seen on a doll. it's very silky and long, but doesn't tangle. it doesn't feel quite as nice as real human hair natch, but it also doesn't feel like a plastic wig like the fakey. it does seem to take quite a bit more effort than i expected to pull her string and change her eyes, though.

i already took a couple pictures of her today. XD

i'm pleased with how photogenic she is. i'm trying to think of a backstory for her...i know "model" is dumb and predictable, but it seems pretty appropriate...

...or maybe a motocross champ with a shadowy past...

...i think i'm naming her Astrid.

black cherry

2011-01-10T22:14:00.002-05:00

saw a lot of movies lately...trying to remember them all...

saw Tron: Legacy in theatres. i wasn't really that into seeing it since i never even saw the original Tron, but i ended up liking it pretty well. the plot is pretty predictable, but the characters weren't quite as one-dimensional as i expected them to be, and i was pretty enthralled by the action sequences. CG younger Jeff Bridges with the dead eyes and pudding skin is pretty creepy, though.

finally saw Precious now that it's streaming on Netflix. my mom sent me the book it's based on a few months back, so i had the advantage/hindrance of having read and enjoyed the book before seeing the movie. i thought the movie was a very fine adaptation, though. it perfectly walked the line of showing you just enough of the utterly graphic, disturbing stuff from the book without it being gratuitous. and just like everyone else has said, Mo'Nique is absolutely amazing in this most disturbing of roles.

Shutter Island: i'm not sure i can quite say i enjoyed this movie, but i liked being mind-fucked by it, and it's definitely a pretty original and well-made movie. i give it credit for creating a constant air of genuine unease throughout, and for keeping me thinking about it days after i saw it.

Babies: been meaning to watch this for a long time, finally saw it on streaming today. it's not quite what i expected. it's very literally a silent camera watching four different babies from four different parts of the world for the first year of their lives. no narrator, subtitles, or explanations. which is fine i guess, but being that i'm pretty ignorant to a lot of the stuff i saw, i would have liked some kind of narration of the significance of certain different cultural practices and such. instead of imbuing this idea of human togetherness through the universalism of birth and raising children, it's instead a bit alienating seeing the different ways that people handle different things, but not knowing exactly why, if that makes any sense. it's really beautifully shot, though. my favorites were the Mongolian and Namibian baby, mainly because of how breathtaking their environments were, from the bright, multi-colored carpets and clothes inside the Mongolian tents to the beautiful red dirt and dust storms of Namibia. probably the most interesting sequence to me was showing how the different mothers bathed/cleaned their babies. of course the American and Tokyo babies were bathed in a shower or tub, but in Mongolia, where i'm assuming water is probably a bit more scarce and at least there's no plumbing, the mother bathed the baby in a washtub and sprayed water over him with her mouth, acting as her own shower. it also showed her clean his face with her own breast milk, very self-sufficient. and the Namibian mother licked her baby's face clean with an expertise i found entrancing; she'd work up a good spit, lick over her face, pause to spit out any grit or dirt, and repeat.

The Business of Being Born: i wasn't originally interested in seeing this until a friend discussed it with me, and i'm really glad i gave it a watch. very eye-opening. it's very significant to me how much women in American society have been conditioned to be terrified of giving birth naturally, and even told that they can't do it on their own. i think it's important for women to realize that they have a choice, which i wasn't even really aware of before this documentary. i also liked that it doesn't dismiss the medical industry, and does admit that birthing complications do happen and that hospital births can be life-saving, but on the whole high-risk births are relatively rare and most births can go just fine without medical intervention. i encourage anyone who's interested in this stuff, general medical history of midwifery and birthing in hospitals, or just women's rights and reproductive health issues to give this a watch. it's on streaming Netflix, and i think on YouTube, and probably other places online.

blah, blah, blah.

no one else is the same

2010-12-29T13:30:00.000-05:00

just beat Fable 3...kinda obsessed with it for a bit, but not so much the gameplay itself, it sucks much worse than Fable 2 in a lot of ways, but i do really like a lot of the characters and character designs.

i love that in this game they made Reaver all Oscar Wilde-fabulous with his top hat and fur coat and cane. they even gave him a tiny heart tattoo on his cheek over his beauty mark so he's the ultimate fop now, haha.<3 a lot of girls/players seem to REALLY hate Elliot for some reason (your character's childhood sweetheart if you play a female character/the character you're "supposed" to marry), i guess because he's not a bad boy/pretty boy like Reaver and Ben Finn, but i think he's sweet. i love his Justin Beber hair, haha. a lot of their ire seems to come from the fact that the programming prohibits gender-specific interactions with him--like when you're a female hero, you pretty much can't help but be taller than all the guys in the game, and when you do interactions like kissing, you dip Elliot in your arms. XD i kinda love it though. i like that when i come home from adventuring he's always cleaning or in the kitchen, mwahaha. and i like that when you become queen he doesn't become your king or anything, he's just your consort or concubine or whatever, haha.

okay, i'm done geeking out. about that dumb game, anyway.

i finally got my fakey Blythe in the mail!! she's really cool, but i hate her hair so i tried to cut it and dye it, but i think it's hopeless. her hair won't take the dye at all, so i'm thinking i'm going to have to resort to rerooting her scalp, which i really didn't want to have to do. i'm also terrified of trying to get her eyechips out, Basaaks are notorious, but i'll worry about that when the time comes. i've made her a couple of cool pieces of clothes, though. and i dyed my fingers pink trying to dye her hair!

it fades fast, but it looked really cool and vibrant when i first did it. it made me start thinking about doing it on purpose all the time, like Henna, heheh.

i'm getting a Jem doll, too! i'm excited. i'm still kinda mad at my mom for selling all my Jem dolls in a garage sale without asking me. i really wanna get the Misfits, they're the best, but they're so expensive/hard to find!

the bite

2010-12-15T01:25:00.001-05:00

after 20 pages, i feel like i'm finally beginning to get a feel for these characters and how i should be drawing them. it's decidedly looser, more cartoony, way more expressive, i think. most people probably won't like it, but i think it feels right. i feel like i tend to over complicate things, especially in art, like i'm trying to compensate or something. but sometimes less is more. not usually, but rarely.

ugh, the going is still so slow though, because of being drained from work so much. but i will prevail!

snow is ruining my life this week.

neige

2010-12-07T01:39:00.000-05:00

France Gall and Serge Gainsbourg

hehe XD i love how many pictures there are of France with weird/creepy fake animals.

don'tcha know me?

2010-12-02T03:19:00.001-05:00

finally watched Dead Ringer the other day. i'm a huge Bette Davis fan, and i liked the idea of her doing a horror/thriller-ish type of movie. well, actually, it turned out to be more like a thriller/mystery sort of thing.

Bette Davis plays twin sisters Edith and Margaret. Margaret married Edith's one true love under false pretenses twenty years ago, which obviously kinda pissed Edy off, so the two never speak again until Edith's former lover and Margaret's husband passes away and they meet up at his funeral. Edith discovers her sister is and has been living the high life all these years, living in a big Hollywood mansion, hob-knobbing and wearing glamorous clothes while she's barely been able to afford to eat, and her little dive bar that she runs is about to be shut down because she's three months behind on rent. what unfolds is an expertly laid-out and suspenseful plot for Edith to kill her rich twin and assume her identity.

as far as suspense goes, this one was a real nail-biter for me. maybe it's just because i like Bette so much, but once she kills her sister, it's a non-stop roller coaster of "will she get caught??" it's hard to believe she was considered washed-up at the time she made this movie. she turns in such a great performance as both sisters, and manages to play them both with very distinct personalities, and while they're both deeply flawed characters, they're also sympathetic. it couldn't have been easy to portray twins. it's like an adult, homicidal Patty Duke show!

at first when Edith murders Margaret and it becomes obvious that she's switching places with her, i was like "pffffffft, this'll never work! so stupid." but even if it is a pretty unbelievable scenario, even in an era before forensics and ballistics and all that stuff, this movie does a pretty great job of covering itself. because Margaret's husband died only the day before, and then her sister supposedly commits suicide the next day, any strange behavior her servants and friends will of course notice can be blamed on this. there's this one great scene in which it's Edth's first full day in her sister's gigantic mansion, and her butler tells her the police are waiting to speak to her in the living room (about her sister's suicide), and once she gets to the bottom of the stairs, she freaks out because she doesn't know where the room is obviously. so she tells the butler to bring them to her, watches which way he starts walking, then says she changed her mind and goes into the correct room. XD i just love characters like this, that are kinda bad and you really shouldn't be rooting for, but they're so clever and dedicated and resourceful that you have to admire them.

another thing i like about the movie is the sense of loneliness and isolation that developes, perhaps a side effect of her assuming a new life that Edith didn't anticipate. not being able to truly be herself to a single person in the world quickly becomes stifling, and maddening. she also discovers, as the layers of her sister's sordid affairs peel back, that she also inherits a whole host of unforseen problems from her sister. it's really, really interesting stuff. i thought the ending kinda sucked; i mean, i guess i knew it could only end one way, but i felt like it would've been better if it had ended about ten minutes earlier and left just a couple things hanging, though definitely pointing in a certain direction. or maybe had gone somewhere more over-the-top and dramatic, since the rest of the movie was kind of like that, but it was just kind of depressingly low-key. but i guess that was kind of the style of the time or whatever. overall it was a blast, one of Bette's best movies i think, just kind of an eh ending that doesn't really do the rest of the movie justice. this really makes me want to see more Bette movies, especially Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte.

also started watching this new Avengers cartoon the other night before bed; they had this marathon or something of it on. it was pretty good. i think Wasp Girl or whoever is pretty annoying though, and i wish they'd gotten a better female character to be on the team, but then i realized that Marvel kinda doesn't have any good female heores that aren't a part of some other team, haha. but yeah, the animation's pretty good, the stories are okay. i'm not sure if Captain America is really as crazy as they depict him. and i'm disappointed because i fell asleep right as they were introducing Black Panther. :/

get off my case

2010-12-01T15:42:00.000-05:00

all my tears

2010-11-29T15:46:00.000-05:00

i just realized for some reason i forgot to post my submissions to my friend Nick's Project Basement here. for vol. 1 i just did a kind of redesign of Dazzler, because i like her.

and for vol. 2 i did Cyclops and Jean Grey because they're some of my least favorites.

never missed my water till my well went dry

2010-11-18T03:07:00.002-05:00

i'm out of green tea D:
really into blues and like story telling music right now...i think because i heard "Isis" by Bob Dylan on the radio the other day. I'm mostly really inspired or moved by visuals anymore, but sometimes words are so perfect they really grip something in me like nothing else.
White Stripes cover of "One More Cup of Coffee" - YouTube
Bob Dylan is a fucking poet.
Son House - "Death Letter Blues" - YouTube
Robert Johnson - "Hellhound on My Trail" - YouTube

Robert Johnson is so infinitely fascinating to me. i'm kind of glad not more is known about him, because all the mythos is so mystifying and romantic. XD only two known pictures of him exist, no one's sure exactly where he came from or when he was born, or other minute details of his life. even disappeared for years at a time with no one knowing where he'd been. his recordings are his legacy, along with legends about his personality and a Faustian origin story for his talents. i love that he had a reputation for being surley, dour and gloomy. maybe depressed people can be great artists.

dying from memory

2010-11-16T23:43:00.000-05:00

my sketch for Project Basement vol. 2 is up on audioshocker.com! the theme this time is least favorite characters, heheh.

going through a pretty bad depression lately, but i think (hope?) i'm pulling out of it. i hate how my depression leads to me stagnating, which leads to even more depression. such a vicious cycle. stagnation is my biggest problem. i think maybe the best (only?) way to get through it is to work myself through it. the stuff i produce might suck, but at least i'm producing.

Bette Davis

lightning strike scars!

i kind of like this idea

body language

2010-11-04T02:53:00.000-04:00

hope everyone had a good Halloween! mine was pretty good. i was a skanky Snow White, haha!

XD

Disney's The Little Mermaid - "Poor Unfortunate Souls" -YouTube

damn, i love Ursula! best Disney villain ever? y/y? i wish i was one of those super ambitious people who make really bad-ass Halloween costumes every year, because i'd love to be Ursula sometime. but i don't really like going to parties and crap, so it'd be kinda pointless putting that much effort into something no one else would really see. but yeah, she's so cool. her expressions are the best, so over-the-top. and i looove how they animated her jiggling boobs, and her back fat. XD

i've always been real into mermaids; they're probably my favorite mythical thing, tied with unicorns. i think maybe i'd like to do a mermaid comic.

esta noche

2010-10-25T16:51:00.002-04:00

feeling very lazy and uninspired lately. :| same old crap. "do i really have what it takes??" blah blah blah.

gave my parents a copy of Sugar Ninjas. they seemed really proud and happy, but like they really didn't get it. they were horrified by the other comics with sex and swear words in them. what will they think if i ever publish Dinogeddon? heh.

my trip to Alabama kinda sucked. probably the worst trip i ever took. i usually defend the south as not being as bad as a lot of people stereotype it as being, and i guess there are some cool people and places, but this trip kinda made me sad because i think maybe it is just as horrible as i was always afraid it was. it makes me feel a little ashamed of everything about where and who i come from. does that make me bad? like if anybody met my family, they'd probably be really scared/horrified, haha. i used to find a sad, desperate kind of comedy in sitting in a Kentucky Waffle House next to the freeway by a Motel 6, listening to a toothless grandpa proudly talk about dressing himself and his grandkids up as cowboys for their christmas photos, and a poodle-permed, bleach-blonde former beauty queen mom with a twangy accent and caked-on make up inquire about a job for the "loser" that knocked-up her daughter. but now it just makes me feel a little sick to my stomach inside when i see/hear these things, like i'm not just a chortling outsider looking down my nose at "simple folk" and rednecks; these people are a part of my DNA, this bible-thumping, racist, homophobic, child briding, hateful culture is inextricably woven into the fabric of who i am. and sometimes it scares me.

really into taking pictures lately. fall just seems so right for it. i think fall would be my favorite season if it weren't proceeded by winter. fall's got the best visuals.
i've been getting paid to do some modeling. yeah, i don't get it either, but i ain't gonna argue.

these are just some pics from when i went to the cider mill to get donuts and cider and pumpkins. the pumpkins were so bright and vivid. and i fed a donut to a goat and some pigs. i still hate ostriches, though. it was trying to peck at me through the wire fence! fuck ostriches.

i kind of wish october could go on forever.

fleshy walls

2010-10-13T23:09:00.001-04:00

haven't updated in a while because i haven't really been drawing. haven't been drawing because honestly i haven't been too interested in comics and stuff lately. and i've been working every single day for the past two weeks, and working a lot pretty much kills my creative impulses. i wish i didn't let it do that to me, but it does. plus i'm having issues with my tablet working on my computer AGAIN. sigh. Rob's trying to fix it for me, but i don't know. i wish i knew what caused my constant stream of computer/tablet problems with three different tablets. sometimes i wonder if i should bite the bullet and just start doing comics the traditional way again.

mainly just watching bad movies and stuff lately. finally finished watching Fear, it was so funny. i think i'll have to do a whole post dedicated to it later. also started watching Swim Fan which is looking pretty awesome too, but i'll have to finish it later.

going down to alabama this weekend to visit family and sort of get away i guess.

lately i'm really interested in photography and maybe getting into it more. i've never taken classes or read books on it or anything, but i've always enjoyed experimenting with it and lately i'm thinking about maybe investing in a decent camera. hmm. here's a self portrait i took today that i liked.

red death

2010-09-30T10:09:00.000-04:00

forgot to post it here, but there's an interview with me by Suri Suicide up on suicidegirls.com as part of a thing they're doing to showcase artists within the SG community. it's my first interview for anything, so that's pretty cool.

i'm really fucking sick right now and can't sleep. my head feels so weird. in a painful kinda way. i'm kinda pissed at my immune system for letting me down.

and my house has been overtaken by fruit flies somehow, and i fucking hate them and am sick of them, so i've declared war on them. we'll see how it goes.

burning out my sky

2010-09-24T01:25:00.000-04:00

finally finished this. it started as a warm-up exercise to get the hang of the new tablet, but became a monster. combined with my general exhaustion/hectic work schedule lately, it took way longer than it was supposed to. -_____- i wonder if i will ever be able to get fast and more productive.

i'm wanting to knit and make plushies and shit again lately, but with how slow i'm getting at producing my comic i don't think i can afford having other hobbies. :\

listened to a lot of Kanye West while working on it, haha. i can't help it, i really like his music.

Kanye West - Love Lockdown - Youtube

Kanye West - Heartless - YouTube yesssssssss rotoscope! lol @ the Jetsons paintings XD

all dirty

2010-09-17T15:46:00.000-04:00

i want those boots.

the Unicorns - Emasculate the Masculine -YouTube

This could be the sound of me tearing
into your flesh from a distance
opening fresh wounds
for a peek

And this could be the sound of me breaking
into your room late at night
slitting your throat
and cutting off your dick

'Cause everyone I know
is too comfortable with thier lives
to ever be a part of change

And everyone I know
is leaving for the weekend
with tickets to the game
everybody sounds the same

hunger pangs

2010-09-15T02:13:00.003-04:00

amazing 15-year-old girl’s slam poetry to a Kimberly Henry ad for plastic surgery, on a menu, across from the salad options.

Dear Kimberly Henry, I saw your ad last night.
The menu at the cheesecake factory-
your smile so bright on the page next to the page
with the weight management salads.
So people have to know the calories of every order,
or they might accidentally indulge themselves in flavour,
and that’s not right?
Because your ad says I should indulge myself under the knife. Because something about me is so broken and wrong? That I have to listen to every line of your song? And follow every rule of your game?
Go on a diet? Change my name? Or go insane at my own reflection, or the scale? Start calling myself an ugly pig, cow, whale?
Or remember I’m human, that’s all I can be. And my humanity is more beautiful than any sad plastic dream.
No, cause if I let myself get happy, I might get fat.
Which I guess is even worse than being empty and needing?
Or on a table cut open and bleeding?
Or obsessing over numbers, or hiding behind clothes?
Or really believing there’s no way I’ll glow~
unless I change this, lose this, cut this, change that? You know what?
I’d rather be fat.
I’d rather be really fat, not just a pinch of some skin.
I’d rather remember that food isn’t sin, because fat’s just a word like blonde-haired, or brown eyed. And when’s the last time somebody starved themselves until they died, because their eyes weren’t blue, even though they tried? And you know what?
The things you tell yourself are lies.
And they aren’t your lies.
You aren’t that creative.
You aren’t the first one infatuated with self hatred.
You’re just part of the chain on a dusty old bike,
and you’ve been pushed into the ground all of your life. Because it’s so accepted? So wide spread and celebrated, that skinny is happy and fat is wrong?
It’s written all over magazines and billboards and love songs and in me and in everybody, so I wonder, Kimberly.
What happened to you?
That you risked your own life attempting to be beautiful? And you tell other girls that’s what they should do?
And you reap love and peace like the grimmest reality,
and when I’m trying to eat you’re all over my menu?
How dare you tell girls that plastic surgery is fun?
That they have to char their skin under a fake sun, and put plastic in their chest to be any fun, to laugh and to tease and weigh and reweigh
and spend day after day
spreading more lies and causing more pain?
For the sake of their makeup, staying out of the rain?
More terrified to gain a pound than their health and dreams hitting the ground,
shattered by this cloud of despair
that’s infecting people everywhere,
so you can find little girls who only care
about skipping lunch, and they don’t even know, that in some reality, this isn’t acceptable.
To scream at women all day and all night, how is it any better than when women didn’t have any rights? Because yeah I can vote, and get a job, but I have to shave my legs, get a tan, go on a fast, get a man, lose the weight as fast as I can, boast, compare, cry, lie, and die?
So sure I can vote, but I can also fly away from this whole place of toxic air.
Because I don’t really care what you say, and if you think I should have a problem with that?
No thanks, I’d rather be fat.

i wish i could have been anywhere near this enlightened when i was 15.

i think anybody that really knows me knows i have body-related issues, and even though i've made huge strides this past year towards accepting myself and realizing i'm more than my body, that my body is just fine and is strong and capable of doing everything i need it to do so therefore i shouldn't be so hard on it, and even if i did have a "perfect" body it still wouldn't fix all of my problems, i still have my dark moments, and i probably always will. but every little oasis in my desert helps. this one really helped me out today. as a person with anxiety issues in dealing with other people and feelings of constantly being judged, it's easy to get caught up in perceived expectations of me and let it distort what i know to be true, to let myself become complacent to my own oppression. it's not cool. i realize i need to work harder on not giving a fuck.

also i think the majority of it is rubbish, but i liked this one excerpt from The Witches of Eastwick:

She recognized as she labored in her kitchen the something sadly menstrual in all this, the bloodlike sauce to be ladled upon the white spaghetti. The fat white strings would become her own white fat. This female struggle of hers against her own weight: at the age of thirty-eight she found it increasingly unnatural. In order to attract love must she deny her own body, like a neurotic saint of old? Nature is the index and context of all health and if we have an appetite it is there to be satisfied, satisfying thereby the cosmic order...

Detroit Lives

2010-09-12T23:24:00.000-04:00

kind of as a follow-up to my Requiem for Detroit? post, here's a similar documentary but more on the positive outlook of things.

Detroit Lives - Palladium Boots

i'm really happy that they took a look at Detroit through an artistic lens, and delve into its potential and unique qualities instead of its problems. this is the kind of thing i think about when people seem so horrified by me living near Detroit.

also, i love Buster Keaton.

they'll rot your brain

2010-09-09T15:59:00.005-04:00

i love cartoons, but particularly ones that push the envelope and go a little above and beyond typical wacky cartoon hi-jinks. i'm really not into those older merrie melody/warner bros. shorts where 99% of the comedy comes from parodying and spoofing famous people and movies of the day. i understand why it was popular and humorous at the time, but honestly i don't get a majority of the references, and secondly i prefer for any kind of media, really, to have a timeless appeal. for these reasons, i much prefer the later Looney Tunes, especially those directed by Chuck Jones, Friz Freleng and Bob Clampett.

Bob Clampett might be my favorite animater/director ever. silliness and weirdness are cartoon staples, but he knew how to push it above and beyond, making a joke or gag that was merely funny and weird into something really laughably outrageous.

one of the things that first got me about his stuff is how far he was willing to stretch the very physical limitations of reality for the sake of ridiculousness. walls, doors, props, whatever, became the consistency of rubber. and his expressions and poses! look how great and elastic they are!

what an awesome wild take on Daffy! Clampett knew how to use Daffy to his full potential, and made probably my favorite Daffy cartoons, even better than the Chuck Jones duck season/rabbit season ones. though it doesn't ever fail to amuse me the endless and creative array of ways Daffy's face gets rearranged every time he gets blasted. but i digress.

in this cartoon, i love how giddy Daffy is as he bastes himself with gravy at the end. XD it's so funny, and dirty at the same time!

apparently it's impossible to find a video of, but this is one of my favorite Looney Tunes ever, "Old Grey Hare" from 1944. The dialogue is just so snappy and right, and Clampett milks every bit of comedy out of an aged Bugs and Elmer Fudd, taking the expressions and actions to a new extreme with their gummy mouths, furrowed brows and rubbery wrinkles. i also really love the facial hair choices of Elmer with a cookie-duster mustache and Bugs with a cottony Red Fox beard.

but my absolute favorite subject to explore in animation is malice, rage, mental breakdown, violence and craziness. while there were probably other animators technically better in other ways, to me, Clampett was one of the first animators to really master exploring the darker side of human emotions in cartoons, and exploiting them for comedic effect.

(i particularly love the cartoon with this dog. he's probably supposed to be a parody of someone with his weird, floppy hair and accent, but he stands alone as a funny character. i love that the majority of the cartoon takes place underwater and he and Bugs Bunny can inexplicably exist without breathing just fine.)

the only other animators i can think of that come close to Clampett's brilliance at capturing rage and insanity are Tex Avery and John Kricfalusi. it's hard to find Tex Avery's stuff online for some reason, and while he mainly stuck with more traditional cartoon idioms, he won my heart with how far he was willing to go to keep topping a gag. i have in mind one scene in particular that practically changed my life when i saw it, but again, i can't find it.

while Clampett and Avery were both extremely talented in their portrayals of intense inner turmoil, it was almost always from a place of slap-stick and good-naturedness, whereas John K. took his influences in a directly darker place. the cartoonishness of his characters and ridiculousness of the situations softened the blows just enough to make them funny, but what i love about John K.'s animated sequences of Ren losing it is that often times you're unsure whether you should be laughing or not.

Ren: "i'm So Angry" - YouTube
this is probably the scariest and most threatening Ren's ever been, so much so that Nickelodeon forced edits to portions of his descriptions of what he plans to do to Stimpy and Sven. i love the juxtaposition of teetering between funny and flat-out disturbing.

Happy Happy Joy Joy - Dailymotion
probably everyone is acquainted with this episode or at least this song, but it amazes me that some 10-15 years later, it's still hysterical to me, particularly the seemingly crazy, non sequitur ramblings of Stinky Wizzleteats in the middle of his song (which apparently are all quotes from children's songs and a Western movie by Burl Ives, who Wizzleteats is a parody of). the whole episode is really good, particularly the parts where Ren fights the power of the happy helmet and loses, and the preceding scenes in which he is constantly insane with happiness.

Ren: "THESE HANDS" - Youtube
this is probably my favorite insanity sequence from Ren and Stimpy. to me, the threats of Ren's violence and his maniacal ramblings were much more disturbing than any of the actual cartoon violence he inflicted on Stimpy. i love how it actually goes there, with Ren contemplating breaking Stimpy's neck in his sleep. XD

edit: oh yeah, how could i forget Space Madness?? i think Ren's first great insanity sequence. it contains two of my favorite quotes: "it is not i who am crazy. it is i who am MAD!" and "we're not hitch-hiking anymore! we're RIDING!" XD

besides the dialogue and exaggerated body language and expressions of the characters, John K. is a genius when it comes to creating a mood through background and music. i love when the backgrounds go from being normal settings to surreal, splotchy spaces, indicating a character has snapped or is about to become unhinged. sometimes the music choices are ham-fisted and obvious, further adding to the comedy, but oftentimes they're beautifully in contrast to everything that is happening, such as his liberal use of relaxing classical music to scenes of disgusting things, or just plain absurdity.

i feel like he really dropped the ball with Adult Party Cartoon, but the classic Ren and Stimpy will never cease to amaze me. they just don't make cartoons like that anymore.

chemicals between us

2010-09-03T00:56:00.000-04:00

omg i got my new tablet FINALLY and it rocksss YESSSSSSSSS so excited!!! it's the best tablet ever (or the best one i've ever had, anyway!)! super excited to draw shit and work on my comic again!! though i do want to keep drawing in my sketchbook; it's fun.

i hate thinking someone is genuinely interested in me and my hobbies and interests, but really they're only interested in my orifices. i'm so bad at figuring it out sometimes.

i'm thinking about getting a vaginal piercing, heheh.

shit a brick

2010-09-02T00:39:00.000-04:00

not sure about all her other features, but this is the first time i'm happy with this character's mouth scar.

i have looked into the maw of the abyss

2010-09-01T00:35:00.001-04:00

back from FanExpo! it was quite an experience. the first day was an absolute nightmare; i had gotten next to no sleep on my bus, and my one friend who was driving us to Toronto had gotten like no sleep, and our other two friends who drove in from Pittsburgh had to leave at like 5 am so of course everybody was super tired. then we got held up at the border getting in and that freaked me out. then we got lost forever in Toronto trying to find our hotel and a place to park the car, and when we finally did make it to the convention center it was really late, and i got like the worst migraine i ever had. so painful. i ended up getting sick right in the doorway as we were rushing to make it into the room, which was really embarrassing at the time, but now that i look back on it it was pretty funny. it's really humbling to have your mentor/one of your favorite people that you just met for the first time helping you clean up your vomit, heh.

but the rest of the night went good. after i threw up and took some headache medicine, i felt sooo much better, and everyone else ordered room service, and we watched mixed martial arts fighting on tv, then sat up watching Fear as late as i could with Ross, and it was such a funny movie, wow. gotta rent it. anyway, the rest of the trip was pretty good too. i think we all felt like champs for having made it through that first day. XD

i had a really good time hanging out with Nick and Justique at the Audioshocker table, i'm glad they let me invade their space like that. i finally started trying to come out of my shell a bit and mix it up and talk with people at the con and stuff, and i met so many incredibly talented and nice people! it really touched me. it might sound sappy or whatever, but as much crap as it is to struggle and get to cons and you may have to put up with some bad stuff, it was totally worth it to me to just be around these kinds of people, to feel their energy and know that they get it. that we all have similar goals in creativity and self expression and being passionate about something other people might not understand. again, i probably sound totally gooey, but for maybe the first time in my life i was sure i was on the right track and doing the right thing by me. i was sure this is where i belong. it was definitely a significant experience for me, and i'm really grateful to my friends who made it possible, and whose friendship has inspired me to put my all into my projects the way that they do.

also my mom called me today and i told her all about the con and how it went and how it made me feel, and i was surprised because she was actually really pleased and happy for me and supportive. i kinda wasn't expecting that reaction at all, so it was nice.

but yeah. back to drawing!

2010-08-26T14:14:00.000-04:00

leaving for FanExpo Canada tonight!

doldrums

2010-08-22T22:03:00.000-04:00

digging up bones

i just recently saw Labyrinth, and i really liked it, but i'm glad i didn't see it as a kid. it probably would have freaked me out as much as the Dark Crystal, heh. of course i really liked Jareth the best.

watching Predator 2!

giving up the ghost

2010-08-20T23:28:00.002-04:00

*edit* here's a link to the whole 90-minute movie without any breaks: Requiem for Detroit?

an artful, sad documentary on the rise and fall of Detroit. this pretty well outlines all the reasons why i have such a fascination with Detroit. every city has its stories, but Detroit is such an interesting beast. totally a soiled dove. once the fourth biggest city in America, now the blueprint for economic disaster and a ghost town. the apocalypse is already here.

"Ruins are the visible symbols and landmarks of our societies and their changes ... the volatile result of the change of eras and the fall of empires. This fragility leads us to watch them one very last time: to be dismayed, or to admire, it makes us wonder about the permanence of things." - Yves Marchand and Romain Meffre

project basement

2010-08-15T23:14:00.000-04:00

check it out! i was featured in Nick Marino's Project Basement on Audio Shocker!

i did Dazzler. i plan on doing a finished version of the sketch, but my tabletlessness has made digital work indefinitely delayed.

in other news...the Scott Pilgrim movie totally fucking rules and you should see it many times!

artifacts of a misspent life

2010-08-13T15:10:00.003-04:00

just about everybody seems to be doing these old art posts, and while at first i was hesitant to join in, i guess i might as well join in the humiliation. they're just drawings. and at one point i thought they all looked good. in a few more years i'll probably hate everything i'm doing now, heh.

going back as far as i can manage. in first through fourth grade we had to keep little journals to practice writing in. i didn't like writing much, but my teacher let me get away with just writing a few words then filling up the page with illustrations sometimes. looking back, i have a new found respect for teachers because if a kid handed me this stuff, i'd have no idea what to make of it. it also makes me wonder...people had been telling me i had a talent for drawing since kindergarten, but how were they sure of this? is this considered good art for a 7-year-old? how can people tell one kid can draw better than another? it all looks the same to me. i also like that i didn't figure in any of the other prominent features of the ice cream truck, but i remembered the gas tank, right in the middle of the side of the truck, where it should be.

most of my later elementary school-middle school art is lost because it was before i had a scanner, and most of it was in notebooks i'm not sure what happened to. the early stuff was pretty bland, a comic about stick people, and a series about talking dogs (i was pretty much only into drawing animals as a kid). later i worked on an epic comic called the Crown about a princess with a sentient crown that protected her and gave her super powers for a few years. i also did one that was very anime/manga-influenced parody of folklore and mythology where i basically took parts of it i liked and changed them around however i wanted. and the heroes of the comic were an ineffectual pagan goddess who got kicked out of olympus and a guy who could change sex at will because it turned out he was the son of a demon and a valkyrie (how typical).

in high school i started a web comic starring these guys, a foppish guy with a skull for a head for no reason and a gay guy who always wore pigtails. i later re-vamped the comic with the skull-headed guy as a normal guy (below) and started to redo the series with a more cohesive storyline, but after working on it in some form or another for like ten years, i just got tired of it.

back to the old stuff. this is yet another comic i briefly worked on right after graduating high school i think. around that time i was really into victorian stuff and ghost stories, so...it's a post-apocalyptic victorian ghost story XD most people i showed it to liked it, but someone i admired who was also a comic artist said it took too long to get going and i couldn't figure out how to re-work it, so i eventually just dropped it. still had the anime-ish influence thing going on, obviously.

around the height of my zombie obsession, heh. probably 2001-2003?

zombie studies from my sketchbook. i think i paused the romero movies and drew from them. XD

my first-ever completely digital artwork, haha. i was really into the mixing cute shit with gore thing right after i discovered junko mizuno.

circa 2004, i think? during this time i was trying to figure out my "signature style" or whatever, so i was copying the styles of a lot of artists i liked. right here i was really into foo swee chin.

super old eve. she's the love interest of the straight guy from the pair of guys above.

for a little while i was really into doing these shitty, crude, vector-shape drawing things. 2005 probably?

this is an actual album cover i did for my friends' band in like 2003-2004. i'm so shocked that they actually paid me and told me i was a good artist. at the time i was really into old black and white cartoons and thought they were kind of creepy.

imitating mizna wada here.

i drew cutesy shit like this for a while, mainly because girls really liked it and it was marketable.

sketching from life. that lady was really wearing that shirt.

cave girl stuff. this is what basically lead to Nyla, a character that hasn't been in anything yet but i plan to use her one day.

first sketches of Sidney.

that's about all worth looking at i guess (or not looking at). one thing that kinda bums me out about looking back on this is how much more prolific i was when i was younger even though i sucked. guess i have a lot to work on.

in over my head

2010-08-08T18:56:00.000-04:00

watched Willow for the first time since i was like 10. it's weird; i tend to have a pretty good memory and retain lots of useless trivia, but when it comes to movies, i seem to have short-term memory loss or something. i'll forget everything that happens in a movie just a few weeks after seeing it, unless it's a movie i liked when i was younger and had a more obsessive personality, in which case i more than likely watched a favorite movie many hundred times and it is now permanently committed to memory, ingrained into my gray matter. Willow is one such movie. watching it, i was delighted and surprised by all the memories forgotten that were re-awakened. it was like being reunited with old friends after decades of being apart. i'm sort of going through this awkward, quarter-life crisis thing right now where i don't really feel like an adult but i'm too old to be acting like a child or teenager anymore, so i often seek comfort in nostalgia, which more often than not leads to the disappointing feeling of "this just can't be recreated," or "this isn't as good as i remember it." it's nice that, at least with Willow, it was something that i enjoyed just as much, if not more so, than when i was a child.

also watched Breakfast on Pluto. nice, quirky, sweet-without-being-too-precious bit of queer cinema. although i like that unlike a lot of queer films, it isn't about trying to "fit in" or searching for an identity, when it comes to sexuality and gender roles, anyway. though everyone else may have their own ideas about her, from the very earliest stages in her life Kitten knows what she is -- a girl-- and never once falters from that assertion. she instead is looking to discover herself in a different sense, through finding long-lost family. i really liked it. and not just because of Cillian Murphy in drag (though that certainly didn't hurt. ;) )

hubba-hubba.

i tried drawing him (Cillian Murphy...shut up, I'M NOT OBSESSED, LEAVE ME ALONE D:), but i hate drawing real people. at least in non-caricature ways.

it seems to me there's a certain presence that certain people's features have that can't be expressed in drawings unless you're willing to go overboard and get a little cartoony with it. it's like the idea of a set of eyes, or the idea of the nose rather than what they actually look like. does this make sense? i don't know.

cramps

2010-08-04T17:09:00.001-04:00

stop drop and roll

2010-08-03T22:30:00.000-04:00

fun with hair.

disposable

2010-07-31T01:50:00.000-04:00

YouTube: Sakura trailer

i really want to see this movie.Shiina Ringo does the soundtrack!

"Tayuu were highly trained and educated performers skilled in such arts as music, dance, poetry, calligraphy, tea ceremony, and flower arrangement. Because there were very few, access to them was very difficult. Tayuu could also reject men, who could see them only by special appointment."

my mom sent me some old crap from my childhood randomly. i'm not really sure why she sent it to me and why she didn't want to hold onto it. but! she sent me some chewed up, old, dirty ponies i used to play in the dirt with on my grandparents' farm. my mom's awesome because she saved them for me when my dad said to throw them away. XD

i really like the pink, blonde-haired pony with balloons all over her. she's like a party girl pony! the weird little aardvark-lookin' dude, i don't really remember him at all, but he's Stardust from the Moon Dreamers.

take me higher

2010-07-29T00:58:00.000-04:00

actress Sophia Bush boycotts Urban Outfitters for their "Eat Less" t-shirt.
wtf, i can't believe people thought this was a-okay, especially a clothing distributor aimed mostly at young girls. what a bunch of assfaces. i have no idea who this actress is, but she is awesome for this.

new tablet is bugging me. arrrrgh. so i'm just doing sketchy shit right now.
here's a super deformed, cartoony Ronnie sketch inspired by Shane Glines.

that is a 100% accurate depiction of a fight scene in Ultra Man, no lie! but i'm loving it so far despite the 70's Japanese man ass and balls in tight rubber being all up in my face (or maybe because of? hmmm). just got done with an ep about a green, locust-y alien with claw hands that freezes people and turns them green because it can move faster than humans can perceive time (?) or something. good stuff.